Xuan's Choco Box ㊣

2011-12-03T04:25:00.001+08:00

Em and Dex. Dex and Em.

Watch two movies last weekend, this, and don't-know-what's-its-name.

The second one is of a Taiwanese guy, flying all the way to Lijiang, Yunnan, with the unfinished dream of his late brother: cycling to Lhasa, Tibet.

We saw some part of ourselves, or the way we want us to be, could be why we indulge in certain movie, book or song.

I don't know but deep inside I don't like the way I am living now, I'm so scared of being another ordinary she going with the flow. For what reason you would stuck at nowhere when the world is big?

I got to know you. You cured me of you.

2011-11-15T16:26:00.000+08:00

randomly saw someone share this on Facebook, oh it brings back so many of childhood memories where my sister and I could remember the whole lyrics so well.

the late stage of our childhood was then heavily 'bombarded' by Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys and 'NSYNC. Thanks to my cousins.

2011-11-11T21:52:00.000+08:00

恩，有激励到。

ps：zomagai泰语越听越像客家话

2011-11-08T02:56:00.000+08:00

一趟说走就走的旅行，其实也已经嚷嚷了一个多月。

也对，在北方上学的孩子们，有护照的，哪个没有乘机在大学三四年里去一次泰国？

一人约34马币的日式涮涮锅和寿司自助餐。

大雨中的~~soaking~~ floating market

Floating Market岸上的市集

灰土纷飞的街头

猪腿饭

芒果糯米饭

蛤煎

临走前的倾盆大雨

结尾不知道要写什么。我继续写作业去。再见。

今天等我來

2011-11-02T11:33:00.004+08:00

我不否认对他的痴迷有点过火。
曾经无数次幻想去听他的演唱会，再遥远地听他唱歌也会落泪。
2011年8月6日
很安静地把演唱会看完听完。
连喧哗都显得多余。

真心觉得吉隆坡也是座美丽的城市，又爱又恨。

我难过了，给我一个陈奕迅。

2011年8月6日是个值得纪念的日子

2011-11-01T18:09:00.000+08:00

I know I couldn't complain more when I have to share a room with a stranger. What I'm begging for is just a little privacy of my own. Do you know how weird it is to have someone who can intentionally/ unintentionally see what you are doing in front of your own desk from your back?

What's weirder is the person doesn't feel any wrong with it while I'm the one offended.

how can one be so selfish and inconsiderate like this?

again proven some penangites just don't use their brain as how normal human does.

~~giamsiap,~~ ~~chimagan~~, ~~sotbelak~~, ~~kiasu~~, ~~baichilization~~. beyond words.

2011-10-23T03:12:00.000+08:00

最近在忙个焦头烂额。好像每次回家前都是这样。
说到回家，可能是习惯可能是成长，来了这里两年已经渐渐不会想家。甚至觉得回趟家还真麻烦，各种累各种颓废。
半个学期就快要过去，书一样没看，时间还是一样花在做梦上。
我越来越觉得自己走火入魔。
昨天吃饭时突然想这个在我眼前的世界是否真实，抑或它仅仅存在予我们的想像中，
甚至想吃着的饭是不是真的饭。
放心，我依然正常地活着。
依然在现实中被打磨得麻木。

大概每个人都有一段沉默的时光，不管喜怒哀乐，
不想解释或交代，也摆不出什么掩饰的表情。

我想我活在这么一个框里，
为何要我雕刻成你心里的模样，硬生生把我淋上石膏定型定型再定型。
什么叫清楚该于不该，而这些该与不该也只是你的自以为是。
Who are you to judge me?

我不喜欢这样，只是选择了不说。
心里的那把尺我比谁都清楚。

说到最后，有谁真的关心你是否快乐心里那个梦想是否还在，
纵有千言万语又如何？

2011-10-04T16:35:00.001+08:00

I feel as if I'm living in Gossip Girl.
So high school.

I don't wanna step into this shit.
it's fine to speak without expression,I can still fake a smile back at you too.

Well, get a life. Be mature, dudes.

2011-09-13T23:10:00.000+08:00

这行字在寝室打下。四个月假期，说结束就结束。其实也腻了无所事事，不务正业的日子。

今天开始回到课室听课，可能头脑休息了太久变得很不好使。
无法集中，黑板上的单词似曾相识，感觉很糟。

昨天跟北京一同事聊天。给我发了他儿子的照片，说是刚拍的，小宝宝就要满月了。
记得我们有时无聊在办公室玩切水果，斗地主，聊聊天，全公司最闲就我们两个。
看了照片他说我胖了。
‘我想念大姐做的饭。’
‘是吧，你也觉得大姐做饭好吃吧。’
‘都把我养胖了。’
‘哈哈，那我得跟大姐反映一下这事。’
‘必须的！’

突然某天饭后跟大姐带着豆豆到鸟巢散步的画面涌现脑海。

我想念北京。

2011-08-11T02:50:00.001+08:00

hiatus again.
3/4 semester break is gone. another 1 month left.
I'm thinking to blog about my China experience, not in writing mood now, later, maybe. *procrastination mode on.

still sleep late as usual.

I feel loved.

2011-05-21T04:21:00.000+08:00

明天是末日或是闹剧一场

为什么把时间精力花在这里散播多余的恐慌也不鼓励人们多珍惜地球和生命

而且会死也未必在末日

最近生活没什么值得纪录的事件，

简单，平淡，很居家。

我回想假期前的事，和那篇博客，

再看看今天这个地步，

突然觉得好笑起来。

或许有人永远不会懂，如果当初对人诚实诚恳少搞你的小圈子，你也就不必在文字中声声为什么。

我终于有钱给自己买了张机票，

眼看即将启程激动却越来越少。

想像的是把自己丢去一个陌生的地方老爸却塞来一张地图，

翻开一看也不知道是多少年前的印刷品

啼笑皆非。

还有很多地方想去。太贪心。

2011-04-19T17:42:00.000+08:00

Final exams mark the end of a semester. I would conclude I learnt a lot throughout this semester, not from the academic wise, but the activity and social wise.

I'm glad for what I had done and gone through so far.
It was never a wrong decision for me to involve in my school's student board. I was given chance to work with my fellows, and every different responsibilities given was indeed a good experience.

Life in university is interesting as you get to meet people from various background, and some of them could really inspire you by what they have achieved. This is why I would prefer seeking opportunities to take part in activity which could expose me the real society rather than mingling with people from single race.

I seldom share my dreams and thoughts with others but it doesn't mean I don't have one. So please don't judge coz you might not know how far I had ran to reach the destination. Everyone changes as we grow, be it good or bad, so do I.

Is learning a process of life or life a process of learning? I would prefer the latter.
You might skip a process but you never skip living.

I hope I'm not too old to find more answers of 'who am I?'.

2011-03-31T15:20:00.003+08:00

of yellow papers that curl in the fire,

white smoke, from the tip of the stick, sneak around.

we are wearing white and black,

colors on arm to tell who we are.

everyone is here.

no one is crying.

it's a family gathering,

uncles and aunties, from different parts on this land,

some I couldn't remember,

but it doesn't really matter, because

everyone is here, no one is crying.

He's sleeping in the coffin,

peacefully.

A man in his Mercedes, the shinny hair smell like his hair gel,

He comes to a bahkutteh stall with three young children.

They are picking lottery from an indian man, scratching the paper with coin.

He paid to the indian man, then watching his grandchildren, smiling.

The fact of I will not be seeing him when I come back here next time is hard to bear,

thinking of the contact entitled Grandpa will never appear on the screen when my phone rings strikes me hard.

He'd gone.

I had been battling with this feeling, to reminisce the moment spent with him and accept the truth of I will never have him coming back at the same time is too overwhelming.

So long.

Rest In Peace.

不怕慢只怕站

2011-03-16T00:15:00.002+08:00

这句话突然出现在脑海。

一直觉得自己拿得起放得下，原来实践起来还有点难度。

其实我想说我也不是真的过不了这关，只是关口有点窄，会卡。

我回想那么久以来发生的事，发现很多开心的已经记不起来。

剩下的只有像是尸体，从血淋淋到发臭。

我要继续进补正能量，快快走出emo期。势在必行。

很多东西真的一刻也不能等。

如果世界末日真的要来，

谁还有心情乖乖等毁灭。

2011-03-14T16:41:00.002+08:00

原本生活已经处于低潮，正当不断往自己身上发射正能量，偏偏却因某些人士导致心情直线下降，敲到谷底砰砰声。

明明是大热天，我的心却冷了一大半，

头顶的太阳把眼泪蒸发，凝聚成更大的乌云笼罩着我。

看过一句话，

人生是个long goodbye，每次说再见时心又死去了一点点。

原来伤懂追我不需要躲。

是我仁慈才把你当朋友来接近。

2011-03-09T20:32:00.004+08:00

喉咙痛了3天，还肆无忌惮地吃香喝辣，胡说八道。

现在吞口水比吞石头还要难受，还是开始少说话好了。

我的老毛病又犯了。

明明告诉过自己要把持住，结果还是那么没有个性。

是否还有永恒两个字。

那个你嚷着忘不了的人现在在哪里，

共撑的伞现在搁在墙角，

已经想不起那束花是红色还是粉红色。

你听过自己压抑的哭声，却依然可以笑得没心没肺。

以前总是好奇人是怎么长大的，到了这个年龄却再也不想知道。

很多不顺眼的事，忽略忽略就过去了，却对自己的过去耿耿于怀。

最近生活有点踩狗屎的感觉，

反正每段日子总会那么一个低潮，心里骂几句粗口发泄一下，

没什么大不了。

要死，这篇从喉咙痛写到不痛。我是有这么磨叽。

2011-03-06T18:40:00.002+08:00

五年前，我跟爸爸说，爸，我不要报考华文。爸爸给我的反应是：‘为什么？随着中国的崛起，将来中文占有很大优势。’ 我当时的想法是，这个语言，我会说会写就好了，为何要用一纸文凭来证明？为何要做那么吃力不讨好的事？

考完中文几天后的一个下午，在钢琴中心遇见来接孩子的陈老师。我笑跟她说，老师，A1大概没望了。‘没关系，尽力就好。’。约3个月后，Bahasa Cina一栏旁的A2远比其他A1带来更大的骄傲。

五年后的今天，没有人再过问你SPM或是STPM的成绩如何。人都是活在当下。看着最近育群中学的学弟妹们闹得沸沸扬扬的新闻，仿佛看到了当年的自己。

不同的是，当时的我选择了以既来之，则安之的心态来面对。当然以那时候的年纪根本不明白老师们一直强调的捍卫华教，也搞不懂报考华文，跟维护华语有什么关联。

育群做为一所国民型中学，华文列入正课，华裔生必考华文从很久以前已是一个‘传统’。学生们很顺其自燃也好，心不甘情不愿也好，都在学校提供的良好环境下学习自己的母语，从来没有人挑起弃考这件事。

可是现今的教育制度实在让学子们太吃不消，以致他们在这个年龄不得不为自己文凭着想，不得不排除一切可能破坏成绩理想度的因素，于是萌起了把中文试卷这个恶梦铲除的想法。

这是个成功的教育制度培育出来的下一代么？学生们在难题面前不是积极面对，而是逃避。说白了，就是kiasu。

是，中文并不是必修科。但我觉得，从小受华文教育所熏陶的我们，极力维护华文是我们的责任！独立以来，先贤们为了把母语传承给下一代奔波了多少，一路崎岖地走来，当中的艰辛有目共睹。

今天，你可以骄傲地说华人是个优越的民族，不管在学术上经济上你可以表现得比其他种族耀眼，你甚至可以以自己的多语（马来语，英语，华语，方言）能力而在各方面占优势；但往深一层想，我们评论马来语逐渐被外来语言所侵蚀，受高教育的印度人不讲淡米尔语的同时，其实，我们不也一样么？可怕的是，是我们亲手把先辈们建立起来的根基瓦解的。

华教本来就处于被打压的处境，因此我为有个身为中文小学校长的爸爸感到骄傲，为自己有机会学习中文13年感到幸运。再者华教问题一直被政治化，如果我们也不做好本分，任由有心人士榨取政治资本，可以预见华教的未来并不可观，毕竟决策者不是我们。

如今国民型中学赦免报考中文等于被白蚁蛀了个口，有了先例，大家必定跟风。以后还有谁会考华语？没有人考华语，华小和国民型中学还有什么存在价值？那么，把它们都关闭吗？

覆巢之下安有完卵？

别让学生太沉重，他们仅仅是这个名利功利至上社会的牺牲品。

学弟妹们，求好心切是必然，但回归教育的根本，学习重要的是过程，而非成绩。饮水思源，华教给了我们那么多，我们呢？

若干年后，当漂泊在脑海里的寥寥几个名句精华脱口而出时，是另一番滋味，也是我们这一代人的共同回忆。

2011-03-04T01:06:00.009+08:00

It's March 4, 1:17am when I started typing this.

February was a happening one. Managed to go home once despite all the assignments' due dates and tests.

A pic to describe how March welcomes me.

I have been thinking, of what kind of life I should live? There are many opportunities offered, but it's me, something in me stop me from pursuing them. I am 'give me the task, finish it at best I could, then that's it' kind of person. Offering myself to take responsibility is not me. I'm lucky for what I've been granted, until one day I sit down and think deeply, good opportunities are not forever. Learning is a process of life, one learn from the past experiences, be it a good or bad one. Am I a coward to face failure?

Told baba my plan for the coming long break in May, he is supportive like always. So I think I should not let this chance gone and regret after anymore.

Road ahead I'm uncertain, but it will be a good chapter of my life after all. sure.

Found a prefect place to hang my newly bought banana in room. a banana a day, keeps the shit away.

Stay healthy people!

2011-02-16T22:32:00.003+08:00

I don't know why this feeling come conquering me again.

It's hard, to give up on a person who you used to care the most.

Until today I still hope I can find the answer of 'how could this happen to me?', reminiscing the past alone doesn't help but it stabs even harder on my heart.

It never feels good to be betrayed by someone u love. I thought forgiveness would be everything, but no, some people just do not deserve to be forgiven. The more I tolerate the more I get hurt.

For many times I say I'm totally fine, but in the end it is just not the way i think it is.

I'm so scared of being alone now.

2011-01-16T03:42:00.013+08:00

I am surprised that I did not write any new-year-post last year. it's still hard to believe that we had come to the mid of January. Classes and activities make time passes even faster.

2010 was the year I turned 21.

I do not have in memory how I picture myself as an adult when I was small. Things just happened. From high school to STPM to university, every thing was going with the flow, smoothly, with some little obstructions in between.

I would say the age of 21 is a barrier to cross, for me to walk out from the comfort zone and live my own life.

So much were gained and lost in the 365 days.

This is the place I have stayed for more than 1 year. I'd rather staying alone than having different people as roommate every year.

Being the first child means bearing more responsibilities among the siblings. I always have the feeling that baba puts higher expectation on me, and I could never make him down. I was over-pampered as he gives me everything I want. Albeit he did not earn big money to fulfill our every materialistic desires, the love and forgiveness he'd given is far more treasurable. For the first time, on the last day of 2010, I texted him, Dad I love you.

It was miserable to recall what had happened in August last year. I hate it when I have to confront with things I don't like. The way they acted really disappointed me, if they see us as a part of the family, they should have considered how we feel before saying anything or making any decision. This is also the time I realize I have to be mature, to take care of my family.

I had a real heartbreaking period. It's still hurting until now. I tried to fix things back, but ended up circulating the old pathway, there's no way out but to let go. The moral of the story is one can be cruel when they turned their back on you, and when the time comes, you're the only one who can help yourself.

One of the best memories I had is the visits to Children Protection Centre. Giving tuitions to kids can be a great satisfaction especially when seeing the smile on their faces after solving a simple math.

Friendship is another important part of my life. I'm glad we can still sit down in a kopitiam and share many things together after not seeing each other for months. We never get tired of repeating the same old stories and laugh out loud like always. I'm thankful to have them, my friends for life.

A special thank to him, for being a good listener. I know who can I call whenever I'm down, thanks for his patience, I feel comfortable and secure to tell him everything. A friend who is still willing to hear all your problems again and again even though he knows it's the same old stories caused by your own stubbornness is hard to find. It is something that I couldn't find in anyone else. At least I know who is true to me, who's using me for own benefits.

Of course, the new friends from USM are awesome too! Life in university would be dull and boring without them. We went to many places around Penang. Our first trip outside Penang was in Malacca in May. Before last semester ends, we even went to Kuala Kangsar, Seremban, Malacca and Johor during our field trip. And we're so loud, you can even hear us laughing from far away.

1st year 2nd semester result was rather disappointing. I always think I can do better than this. My GPA dropped tremendously which it almost fell below 3. Although academic result is no longer my major concern, but I told myself, I should never let this happened again. You can say I'm kiasu, but it's not me to be a loser to myself. By the end of 2010, my GPA for last semester improved. And got the Dean's list for the very 1st time. =)

Say adios to my long hair! Finally I trim my long hair after 7 years in November. It was kinda strange for me to look into the mirror at first. My cousin said I look younger in short hair. *that's mean I look old back then, sad. This picture was taken before I perm and dye my hair. *credits to baby Samsam the photographer.

2011 is the year I look forward to be a better person. Let bygones be bygones, I somehow feel relieve after walking out from the chaos. So much planning and to-do's in pending.

I'm ready.

无法入眠不知所以

2011-01-06T01:31:00.002+08:00

早早12点熄灯睡觉，

天时地利人不和。

不知从什么时候开始睡眠质量没有好过，

不是失眠就是睡过头。

在明早9点的课和上网之间挣扎了一下，

还是重新爬起来算了。

无法面对事实的好像是我，

明知道前面是更多扭曲剧情还是义无返顾地演下去的还是我。

伤心难过都留给我。

为何撇开一切可能后我们还是会固执地说：

‘如果当初没有...那我就会...’？

一方面信任，一方面猜疑。

是不是人奔三了所以特别婆妈罗嗦加优柔寡断？

不是才刚过21，何以感觉22不远了？

2010-12-25T23:04:00.002+08:00

Friendship plays an important role in my life. I meet different people, with different background and attitude, I guess it's when I start to observe and define who are them and who am I.

Since I came to the university, things are moving fast. People come in, some stay, some go. One might be in the same foreign language class with you, or you know him/her in a Club's activity, or he/she is your coursemate's roommate.

I often wonder how do people build up a strong relationship and share secrets when they only get to know each know for let's say 3 months? let alone falling in love after joining in the same activity?

True friends are hard to find. And this make me miss all my high school friends even more when I'm alone in Penang. We've been spending years together, all the memories shared are irreplaceable.

Chin found my old eraser few days ago. You can see how childish we were at that time.

Am packing stuff and will be going back to hostel tomorrow. 2010 is ending soon, I wish I can do better next year. So much had happened, it still hurts.

my result improved a lot during the last semester. the best comes when I least expected for it. will work harder next semester. Finally I can take lesser credit hours after 3 consecutive ki-siao-ly-hectic sem!

Hello Penang!

2010-12-11T13:38:00.004+08:00

I often forgot what did I dream.

Sometimes a very strong feeling tailed after I woke up, I know it's from the dream I dreamt, which I couldn't recall what it was.

It exists. And could easily be bothering my mood for the whole day.

Maybe I am stubborn like that. Recalling a dream that doesn't occur in real life, what good will this do?

I'd made a lot of bad moves. Knowing what's done is done, I could blame no one. It was my decision. I'd wasted so much chances I've been given. I could have run away, but chose to stay.

How could I withstand the feeling when I finally come to realise the hope I've been holding all this while is collapsing? What should I do when am told to give up but a part of me tells the different? Why I couldn't get you out of my mind?

The questions left me battling with myself. It's so hard I couldn't bear facing them all alone. I never see this coming, it's so unacceptable.

Went to salon few days ago, cut my hair. I thought I'll be sad, or even cry to watch them falling down to ground, but I didn't.

I love keeping long hair, and this had never changed for 7 years. They're a part of me, more than being keratin that coiled into natural curls, they're shelter to me. I felt protected and comfortable with them. Hence I would see this as a little step to learn to put down and let go, or at least, be confident.

Let the tears fall like a rain. I wish I can hold with my pride till the sun comes.

Me voy que lastima pero adios, me despido de ti y me voy.

#a pic of me and Samsam. She and PPS are the reason why my line went slow!

2010-12-05T00:43:00.002+08:00

696 unchecked mails on gmail.

573 unread items on reader.

30+ application requests on facebook.

3 more weeks before going back to campus.

One dream that could never come true, faded away.

Thousands of thoughts running in my mind.

I tossed and turned, couldn't fall asleep.

there's nothing I can do.

If... I will...

Since... so...

I could not let go, just yet.

enough said.

天气报告

2010-11-20T23:44:00.003+08:00

最近没事喜欢看Dashboard上的天气报告。

星期三有太阳雨，geng。

未来几天都湿嗒嗒的，烦人。

今天Apple网站放的是the beatles！哇，有型到～

心情还是不好。

书还是得看。

我就是个悲哀的大学生。

2010-11-19T21:54:00.002+08:00

连续几晚通宵看书。

故事的教训不是临时抱佛脚的人都没好下场，

而是课本作业再难都是浮云，真的不要跟自己的肝过不去。

看，这个中六时爸爸给我的钉书机。

就是想当年被我封为‘公主stapler’的那个，刚刚截肢了。

很伤心，因为爸爸很罕送我粉红色。

同年他也买了snoopy的sun shade，

让我每天放学取车时心情很好。

没心情看书，以连续剧和综艺节目打发时间。

剪不断理还乱的思绪停不下来。

谁也帮不了我

是我把自己陷入这困境

这种焦虑和无助还要持续多久我不知道

太煎熬了！

2010-11-14T00:05:00.002+08:00

woke up at 12pm today. coffee and SPONGEBOB for brunch! I kinda need something to light up my day before I spend long hours in the library. at least watching Spongebob somehow makes me reminiscing the time where my sister and I used to stick in front of the TV watching cartoons during weekends when we were small. Spongebob, Mr. Bean, Totally Spies, Batman, among others. How could I not love the great childhood moment?

as a macbook user, I'm so fascinated to explore the good side of the machine. in fact, it's very exciting to discover some new functions or applications.

'how to _____ on Mac.' has become one of my top search on Google. by that I managed to watch live FIFA worldcup, learn how to type in equations in Word, install Windows (without boot camp) so I can finally do my MATLAB and Autocad assignment, solve the connection problem of my Vodafone modem, etc.

and the new thing I've tried on my Macbook just now is totally, I shall say, awesome!
yesh, finally I get to watch PPTV on my lappy! and what's interesting is that I wasn't doing this on Windows. It no doubt eases my regret for not having a live TV software to catch up the recent dramas and movies. *laughs.

Time for movie. toodle-oo.
*the weather reporter on my dashboard. 27 degree? god I'm hiding in my blanket now kay.

2010-11-12T22:14:00.004+08:00

突然想学韩语。

大家好像都在忙考试，我好像很空闲。

不过昨天雯说她今天考完就回家，害我很羡慕。

我们说要一起做蛋糕，恩，至少现在对假期有了小小目标。

有种预感，假期我会很无聊。

我不想那么无聊。

有点后悔。

平日的挥霍造就我今天的pokai。

想存钱给自己买张机票。

却实在有太多想去的地方。

想在21岁放逐自己一次。

发现自己即使有了时间和金钱却没有勇气。

‘我知道我会哭会害怕，但我会好。请你送我一次旅程。去西藏吧，那片遥远且神秘的净土，我所向往的地方。’

2010-11-06T20:53:00.004+08:00

还记得街灯照出一脸黄  还燃亮那份微温的便档  剪影的你轮廓太好看  凝住眼泪才敢细看

忘掉天地彷佛也想不起自己  仍未忘相约看漫天黄叶远飞  就算会与你分离凄绝的戏  要决心忘记我便记不起

明日天地只恐怕认不出自己  仍未忘跟你约定假如没有死  就算你壮阔胸膛不敌天气  两鬓斑白都可认得你

Do not know why

2010-11-05T12:26:00.003+08:00

The rain stopped.

Am not in mood of studying today. Exam in 4 days.

Annoyed, again by the stupid alarm sound (i guess it is) from next next next door this morning.

I have been noticing this for quite some time, it's so freaking loud that I can even hear it in my room with the door shut.

I wrote a t0-express-my-anger-note, 'please stop your stupid alarm or whatever thing that make that stupid noise EVERY SINGLE MORNING' and slipped it into the room. then the alarm stopped. okay, if you're awake, for god's sake, turn off your alarm. yes I did this thing again if you can rmbr the notice I put in the washroom.

Met a friend of mine on the way to library, was told the library is closed. Dang, I didn't know it's public holiday today. Happy Deepavali people.

something is wrong with me lately.

how bad it feels when you really care someone but the person never care you back?

I'm kinda touched by this. I couldn't help admiring Audrey Hepburn, she is heavenly gorgeous.

他遇见她时，他36，她23，他陡生爱怜。她结婚时，他赶来并送给她一枚蝴蝶胸针，其实他的丈夫是他介绍的。63岁的她走了，他来看她最后一眼。她生前衣物慈善义卖活动 87岁的他拄着拐杖，去买回了那枚胸针。他们第一次合作的电影叫《罗马假日》，她就是公主郝本，他是世界绅士派克。

It's about me, I am stubborn and weak. I feel like crying I do not know why.

2010-11-02T15:56:00.004+08:00

大学第2年第1学期结束，目前study week中。

9号开始第一门考试，microbiology，最憎恨的一门。

冗长的实验，复杂的单词，经常为了它的lab report搞到日夜颠倒。

25号考health psychology。

恩，选了心理学当minor。读了一学期，lecturer每天讲的就是stress stress stress。

再次见证槟城黐線的天气。

雨下不停，洗个澡出来冻得要命。

吹风筒吹完头发吹脚板蛮好玩。

上半年干燥闷热，挥汗如水；下半年潮湿阴凉，洗衣服还得把握时机。

也不知道为什么还有人说这地方适合人居住。

突然觉得大学4年好漫长。哭。

不想看书。

原本要去图书馆，看看这天气，还是算了。

我觉得这周我要霉死在宿舍了。

摄于出门与蓝约会前。最近不怎么拍照。原因不详。

我要回家啦。考什么鬼试！FML! @w#e$d%s^f&*}

Field Trip

2010-10-31T00:05:00.006+08:00

Oct 29, @Biotechnology Institute, Malacca.

28 Oct, @ Chemical Engineering Pilot Plant, UTM, Johor.
28 Oct, @Yakult Factory, Seremban.

27 Oct, @Tamin Soy Sauce Factory, Kuala Kangsar, Perak.

2010-10-23T01:48:00.002+08:00

在用手机听广播。

记得中学时代熬夜看书时陪伴我的就是一台好不容易让爸爸买的收音机。

趴在地铺，把音量调到刚好，一晃就是两三点。

有时会因为突然听见一首好久没听的歌而忍不住放下笔，侧头趴下静静地听，心里默默地哼，不发一丝声音来划破这空气。

很期待即将到来的假期，却又不知道可以做什么。

想去你生活的城市，走你走过的路，看你看过的风景。

那个你长大的地方，是否还跟你描述的一样，

你拿着小木马坐在公园的照片里的那棵老树是否还健在。

我想离开这里去寻找一个不知道是谁的人。

是现实捆绑了我，还是我局限了现实，

才让看似简单的梦想变得遥不可及。

能不能给我一列可以带我去任何地方火车。

能不能跟我说我可以不勇敢，你会飘洋过海地来到我身边。

我需要保护。我是熊猫。

2010-10-18T17:06:00.002+08:00

觉得很烦，又不知道烦什么。

考试课业压力一大堆，手机还在这个时候跟我唱反调。

我是个脾气不小的人，现在都发在自己身上。你有多不爽，能不能不要大吼大叫，吵了别人，也烦了我。
碎碎念，深呼吸。我忍。

关于一些事。我选择放开。

短信不发了，电话不打了。面也不想见了。

我非情绪化，只是很失望。

早厌倦了你的各种脾气小市民爱慕虚荣占小便宜还装大头鬼。

牢骚发完。游泳去。

我的花你别戴
我的花让我自己戴
你拥有你的
我拥有我的姿态

2010-10-16T04:38:00.004+08:00

难道是上天听到了我的呼唤？

>>>>>！！林峰！！<<<<<

完美的侧脸

下午4点去Queensbay跟凤蓝和她朋友YuYun碰面。

逛街一下后约6点就开始去占位，那个女人买不到衣服不死心，留我跟YuYun在苦等。

逐渐汹涌的人潮。

我突然觉得很geli，不是因为点状密集物体恐惧症，

而是想像到七嘴八舌的潮州话福建话～

台上在玩游戏，我跟YuYun说，

‘一般那种上台的女粉丝都很丑。哈哈，其实很酸葡萄有没有’

语毕突然一个恐龙爬上来。。。

‘你看我都讲的啦！’

好吧，我承认我不是林峰的超级粉丝，只是看到帅哥难免失控。

Nieces and Nephews *loves

2010-10-10T14:39:00.005+08:00

知不知道什么叫一片狼籍？

in case你不知道图一是什么，告诉你，是包子们。

这是膨胀后的包子们。

我们的杰作。

刚出炉的pumpkin cake，其貌不扬但不是开玩笑地好吃。

我的niece做的汤圆，生日那天。

好想假期快点到来，快点见到他们。

跟他们一起做这些，一起鸡手鸭脚，真的很好玩。

Baby Samsam终于3岁啦，

生日快乐！

duenduen阿姨爱你！

恨嫁

2010-10-10T01:38:00.004+08:00

睡了一天，头痛消失，强烈的空腹感袭来。

不要以为我很闲，我很忙我跟你讲，需要靠打字来发泄。

我多想有天我可以起床不用对着电脑，盲目地敲字按老鼠，坐到眼睛疲劳腰酸背痛。不知所谓朝思暮想语无伦次。

《你不在》林峰版。喜欢他的广东腔，比某些人自以为是地攀比王力宏的红毛腔来得顺耳。

书看不下去了，睡觉。今天是101010，林峰能不能到梦里来娶我？

lame。晚安。

2010-10-09T01:53:00.004+08:00

The ache in my head worsened when I woke up.
Works to be done in the coming two weeks: 3 presentations, 2 assignments, 2 tests and 2 lab reports. So I make myself a coffee, it's gonna be a long night.

I can feel the pain radiates across my cerebellum.

Am listening to some random Korean songs, having no idea on the lyrics but the blue still strikes me hard.

My heart is wet and heavy. Secrets and feelings I've kept so well, maybe I should one day write a letter, to an unknown address, telling secrets to an anonymous person wouldn't be worse than telling someone who you thought trust-able.

it doesn't really matter, I could fake my smile and lie like a normal person too.

here's a random fact about me: I happen to be emotional when exam is near/ my stomach is empty.

Monsoon History

2010-09-30T16:03:00.004+08:00

The air is wet, soaks

Into mattresses, and curls

In apparitions of smoke

Like fat white slugs furled

Among the timber

Or silver fish tunneling

The damp linen cover

Of school books, or walking

Quietly, like centipedes,

The air walking everywhere

On its hundred feet

Is filled with the glare

Of tropical water

小时候屋子外面那片空地有个低陷的地方，就在爸爸停放老爷车的凉棚和那几棵芒果树之间。

每次大雨过后，那里就会淹起来。

我们兴奋地折起纸船，放到水中，有时还会加几朵紫红色的纸巾花。

有时更会迫不及待地折好小船，撑起伞在雨中玩得不亦乐乎。

后来低洼被水泥覆上，老爷车的引擎开始咆哮，那棵纸巾花也不复以往茂盛。

谁会预料到若干年后，那只在泥水中的白色小船在我记忆里突然鲜明起来。

又来到这个季节。

我却找不回那分期待放晴的快乐。

想起一句话：执着于快乐，便不快乐。

像一心想飞翔，却忘了其实没有翅膀。

像老是埋怨美丽的星空太遥远，却忘了只要背向它们就可以拥抱地球。

很多人执着于物质享受，却不执着于自己努力。

只会要求别人给予，以满足私欲，

我开始对一些贪得无厌的人感到厌恶。

试想，得到跟你身份格格不入的东西有什么值得炫耀？

我最近好像有点过分理智。

蛮好的。

该干吗就干吗去。

小白船纵使浮浮沉沉，最终还是会漂到我想去的地方。

潜逃

2010-09-14T17:47:00.006+08:00

一度怀疑自己是不是真的21岁了。

是啊是啊。

或许这是个矛盾的年龄吧。

确实。早上该不该起床，晚上该不该睡觉。假期该不该玩乐。

我好像跟现实背道而驰。

面对眼前一箩箩的课业和无名低气压，我继续用无动于衷来藐视他们。

软弱的无声抗议。

很多时候我期望生活别再一成不变，

却发现其实自己没太大的勇气去调节原本。

顾前想后，最终还是在死胡同，继续纠结于放开不放开。

像是身体里某处出现了故障，你知道的，

但你爱莫能助。

你往她身上开了一枪，

她应声倒下。

你驱前一看。

没有鲜血。

只有泪。

Anakku

2010-07-30T01:32:00.002+08:00

After the long and busy weeks since I was back in USM, I seriously need some rest. Convocation week and Interaction Day are just around the corner, I wish that everything goes smooth and we can have the events well done.

I finally have room to myself in hostel! my previous roommate moved to another single room downstairs. You may ask: is it because she doesn't like to stay with me? Nah, we were good, but maybe I talked too less in room making her feel uneasy(?) /she really needs more private space. The second reason stands better. =)

It was Thursday, I decided to go to the orphanage which I went once last semester. We were there to give the little kids tuition as part of the Anakku programme.
This is my lil student, Vijaya. She is also being taught by me during the first time I went. Glad she still recognises my face after so long. When I asked her,'so do you still remember my name?' 'Let me think, Jennifer?' SWT. Vijaya is a fast learner, I don't really have to teach her much, she does very well in all the exercises, 'I am weak in Malay, but I don't know why I score 98% in my karangan.' she said.

When I took out my phone, to check on message, suddenly these boys appeared out of no way behind me. "Sister sister, your phone got games ah?"
Finally they discovered the camera function, hence all the cam-whoring photos below:

this boy kept asking me to take pictures of him with different poses!
this is Vijaya's brother. I remember he was small when I last saw him omg. He even asked me to captured the MU logo on his shirt.
The boys. They were 'fighting' , but right after the discovery of my phone, the situation became: 'sister sister, take photo for us'.

What a wonderful moment I had tonight. I couldn't find any words to describe how I feel to meet the children again. They are so close to each other like a family, regardless their races and religions. Let's pray hard for them, may them be blessed always.

K07 217B

2010-07-12T17:21:00.002+08:00

学校和宿舍还是老样子。也对，短短两个月能有什么改变。
宿舍的衣橱换了，变成有很多间格的那种。这让我很头痛，有时要把东西分得那么清楚真的很麻烦。

又要回到与电脑朝夕相对的日子。

这个学期我很认真地想把学业搞好，必须要好。一定要好。

我很不开心真的不开心却不知从和说起。

zap ba lang cake

2010-06-08T12:20:00.003+08:00

so this is my first try.FAIL. the picture on recipe book cover is so tempting, but look at my product, sweat. it's the real MOONCAKE. note: the egg must be stirred thoroughly until it becomes thick and creamy, this step is pretty important as it helps 'mix' in air into your ingredients to make your cake spongy and soft.
i tried to make it look like the one on picture as much as possible, LOL. the texture was so hard, throw dog dog die.

since the lesson from the first attempt, we stirred the eggs so hard, everyone was taking turn until all our hands cramp, ok, i exaggerated.

and we succeed!
the cake rose beautifully and the texture was just excellent, and hey, it's in COFFEE flavor!

i gonna try more different type of flavors next time. my aunty-ness stimulated.

p/s: don't ask me what's my result, or i'll bite you.

i blogged more than usual during exam period, i don't know why.

2010-04-25T15:03:00.004+08:00

Exam period is the absolute critical period where you have insufficient sleep, improper diet, over dose of caffeine, lacking of physical exercise and pressurized mental condition.

last but not least, overwhelming homesick.

as mentioned, my brain stuck without food, to be specific, glucose.
and hence my note becomes like this,

后会有期

2010-04-24T17:39:00.002+08:00

地震海啸火山爆发旱灾冰山融化，
一波波地天灾，一场场的人祸。

他说，以前就是因为火山爆发，导致火山灰弥漫，植物不能生长，然后其他动物接着死亡，最后包括恐龙就因饿死而灭亡了。
我：你怎么知道，你访问恐龙的吗？

是不是这些图片看多了，从开始的同情和心疼，
到我现在更多的感觉是，是不是地球真的快走到尽头了？

我下周还有5张paper，还敢死地偷时间来上网。
dean's list和我的距离就真的走到尽头了。

同志们，这只是开始。
正如中国某台主持人所说：“让我们下个赈灾晚会再见”

2010-04-17T21:48:00.003+08:00

I was surprisingly relax and sluggish today, didn't show any progress for my revision. >__<
Seriously have to start reading TITAS now. Bah, lame.

2010-04-16T21:41:00.004+08:00

刚刚离开图书馆时已经7点多，外面的雨下了又停，今天的冷气比较冷。
收拾东西时发现我座位附近的人已经走完，剩下桌上零零散散的书本纸张和哇，laptop。（那人应该是想找借口买新电脑）。

连续几天钻图书馆，每天回到房间就是累。
读了很多，还没有读的更多。
我跟你讲，我没那种命啊，dean's list不会看上我，只好站在角落泪光闪闪地看着它。

近几个星期一直重复听陈奕迅的歌。
顺便恭喜一下Times Flies这个专辑，不到两个星期成功挤进我iTunes的Top 25 Most Played。
哦，叫我如何不爱陈奕迅。和林夕。

刚刚下了这本：

一念天堂，一念地狱，快乐本由心决定，
一如空气存在，用力呼吸才会发觉，
但用力呼吸到喘息，
便生了害怕失去之心，执著于快乐，便不快乐。

在网上看到今年挪威的森林这电影会上映，不知道马来西亚会不会有。我很想看，因为这是我最喜欢的书（据说梁朝伟也喜欢，哇哈哈）。
哦，叫我如何不爱村上春树。

記住那關於光陰的教訓
回頭走天已暗
你獻出了十吋時和分
可有換到十吋金

够力，我要继续读书了。bye。

2010-04-05T17:32:00.003+08:00

Am at library now, just have my part of SHE101 project done. and due to my forgetfulness, my mac battery is dying again. =(
I have to say that I am in kinda weird mood recently.

maybe it's because of stories that came to me, which I thought of doing something to fix it, but in the end thing turned over drastically, and I was just nobody. hence I've lost my interest in dragging the truth, so what, i wasn't the one who involve in the issue.

another thing is that i realised that every human being is selfish, so am I. though I'm not born in a rich family, neither the poor one, i don't really care how my money was spent as long as it was to be spent. and it doesn't mean that one can take advantage from it. i was so annoyed seeing people taking advantage from others, just because of what, he/she claims himself is poor. so that's why i have to avoid certain situation where i might feel being taken advantage, my dad would disagree if i were to tell him how i feel. well, he doesn't care his money was used without a thank you, I DO.

how silly, i'd rather spend more just to avoid the situation that make me feel i was 'wen ben'.

hereby i have to clarify that i am not the type that really self-center. just that sometimes i felt unappreciated when the effort is done and people just took it for granted and never even mentioned a word afterward.

few more days to be home, hopefully. petrol price increased wth.

哭笑不得

2010-03-29T23:35:00.004+08:00

刚看完音乐剧回来。我以为我会庸俗的进去，然后很有气质的出来。
事实上，唉。汉丽宝公主音乐剧。是大学里戏剧系（？）电影系（？）学生的final year project。
音乐剧的开始还很有气势，哇，那种黑暗的舞台慢慢亮起来然后舞蹈员若隐若现然后死命喷干冰的effect够气派。

整部剧越看越感觉不对。首先，扮中国皇帝，将军，高官那几个演员讲的竟然是马来西亚式华语。不过赞的是，我觉得公主蛮好看的。还有那个奶妈的身材真的很奶妈。

撇开有些演员唱歌完全不行，完全没有tempo，歌照唱，音乐照走不讲。
还有扮将军那个我觉得他适合走喜剧路线。有一幕跟公主爱恨分离的戏，他‘深情款款’一走出来，大家却不约而同笑了也算了。
再撇开草率的落幕，弄到我们一脸愕然不提。

我觉得我人生看的第一部音乐剧，是部让人哭笑不得的喜剧。

五块钱换一晚的快乐，值得。

2010-03-26T00:01:00.003+08:00

Vodafone Mobile Connect USM Modem is good,
Celcom broadband is good (sometimes),
Macbook is ALWAYS THE BEST.
but they can't just work well together.

usually I have to plug in the modem, then the application will be activated, available network detected, so next i shall get connected to 3G once the process is done.

but NO! this stupid modem/application could sometimes be crazy. The application is not responding out of no reason. and when this happens, I have to remove the application and reinstall it.

Ha, this is the part that really pissed me off. certain contains in the application couldn't be removed completely no matter how many times i've tried, the program can't be installed until they are removed. Sometimes god knows why they can be removed easily, but once I install the program god knows why they appear in my trash again.

i've dealed with this problem for several times. i am already familiar with it, and know just where to fix it. but do u know how troublesome it is to remove, install and restart your laptop, over and over again? cis.

Saya cinta akan darling Mac aku. so I bought this for him. It was the most expensive apple pie I had ever bought, I swear.
Life wasn't good recently. Lotsa test and assignment are due last, this and next week.
but u know, I'm the one who'll never let myself down.

2010-03-17T02:27:00.002+08:00

The weather is better now.
Few days ago, it rained, after hundred years of waiting!
The warmth will never end anyhow, I'm totally pessimistic on this issue.

I have my table fan, right here with me.
blow-die-me.

满身尽带咸汗水

2010-03-06T18:54:00.005+08:00

标题很geli，我喜欢。我的坎坷的睡眠，夹带着汗水。今天一起来就很不爽，想杀猫。
两只人见人恨的猫在门口乱喵。忍不住想把它们赶走时，它们竟然还凶我。两只东西面对面半蹲着竭底斯理地喵，也不懂是在fighting／mating／kopitiaming，还是便秘ing。我想我的友族邻居喜欢看猫便秘，不然怎么还能如此高分贝的大笑？

我的未老先衰第1征兆：日益严重的忘性。

这几个星期下来不管做什么事情，都好像失去了冲劲，力不从心。

星期一早上8点的tutorial，调好闹钟，还特地把手机放远些，以为这样可以至少逼自己起床关闹钟。但却因为放太远闹钟响了却听不到。错过了1次quiz，心里有点难受。
星期二也是早上8点的tutorial，心想一定要出席。闹钟响起，竟然发现已经8点半。自己大头虾，忘了把时间调回来。
接下来的几天，浑浑噩噩地走过。
星期五的待大家都把assignment交上才发现自己忘了做。想马上赶工，只是近黄昏。

有点小沮丧。

想说的是，还有一个月就是final，我想活着回家。:)
看从我手上和耳朵收集到的microorganism，我是邋遢婆。

Español

2010-03-04T20:36:00.004+08:00

Now I don't have to spent for the Spanish dictionary which I may not use it anymore after 2 months.
I got this!
The prize from the Spanish Culture Hunt, my team won the 1st place! The little book is the small phrase book + dictionary. It comes in handy for beginner like me. I've been wanting this for so long! As usual, we got this recycle 'eñe' bag with pens, notebook, handouts,etc. And as expected, it was the pen with dried ink. I couldn't count how many times I've got these things from USM since last semester.

Speaking the Spanish Cultural Hunt, it was so tiring, we ran and sweat a lot. My group members from UniKL know Spanish better than us I guess, they know many vocab that we didn't learn before. My favorite part is to recognise the food from the picture and call their name from the menu, lol.

I really had fun today, of mingling with more people and learning more about the language and culture itself.

Ahora sé más sobre español.

I'm so sick of this weather!

2010-02-28T17:03:00.002+08:00

I always get t0 bed at 4 something these few days. No, I'm not suffering from insomnia. It is so hot here at night let alone during the daytime. I could hardly lay myself on the bed, let the temperature radiates through my skin and end up sweating throughout the whole night. At home it only happened when my grandma purposely switched off the fan to wake me up in the afternoon. Imagine sleeping in a microwave, that's how it feels.

They said, it's Penang. oh my. I do not need another thing that makes me hate this place more!

The dry and hot weather is the culprit that killed my mood to study. I'm losing my patience to think when I sweat. I miss my room so much right now.

How I wish I can sleep in a fridge.

Another year

2010-02-22T15:40:00.003+08:00

I'm generous enough to upload the last one, though they say I spoil the supposed-to-be best shot.

TELL ME

2010-02-03T23:52:00.003+08:00

how am I going to survive in the test this friday?

2010-01-31T14:07:00.004+08:00

I guess those people are getting less using their brain. What for they spoil the facilities given which they would still use later? And why don't they 'ultilise' only one of the basin to fulfill their desire to torture people like me who can really not stand seeing disgusting thing? Yes, they disgust me. WTH!

I hope they understand what's meant by CIVILISED. one more thing, my TITAS lecturer really pissed me off that she like to emphasise how 'mulia' is their tamadun, and when she explained 'ciri-ciri tamadun', i was thinking, i could hardly find these in our society nowadays. show me some strong evidence, or u're just crapping.

my handwriting was terrible when I was agitated.

下雨天了怎麼辦

2010-01-27T22:07:00.003+08:00

我好想家。這是甚麼歌我不知道。也沒有興趣知道。
是不是上天也聞到我燒nong的皮膚的味道，於是奢侈地把雨全澆了下來。
我想睡覺，卻無端端上了巴士，巴士又不走，害我遲到。

下了巴士，鞋子褲子包包都澗溼了。雨傘太小。lecture hall今天特別冷。
話說，我看見了彩虹。
從來沒有那麼喜歡下雨天過。來了這裡那麼久，投訴最多的就是天氣。真的，這裡的天氣很變態。討厭年底的extreme的雨季，討厭現在的extreme的旱季。
Amy說發現這裡的植物早上都沒有露珠。我想起小學學校裡的小花園，每個葉尖上小小的水滴，玩了跳繩手骯髒就把手往葉子們上抹抹。拍拍屁股去上課。

關於第一句，騙你的。其實想家的感覺沒那麼強烈。這幾個星期真的很忙，已經到了床上一躺就直接入睡的境界。沒有時間失眠。

看了很久都沒有看完的書。一沒時間，二每次看完一點就會開始想很多事。拖拖拉拉，明日復明日。
我渴望每天晚上可以下一場雨。跟你說，彩虹下那座公寓裡，有我舅舅。

回來1個月，我又便黑了。我渴望太陽可以仁慈點。誰有那個‘白了多少，量得出來’？借我量一下我黑了多少。

2010-01-24T20:40:00.005+08:00

One of the reason why I seldom blog is that it's hard to find a suitable title for what I meant to say.
Many thoughts that I feel like writing down left unorganized in my mind, I guess my ability to express myself is getting worse by time.

So it's now coming to the end of January. A month after my new semester, another month before Chinese New Year. Things didn't change much, expect for my piling assignments and presentations. There are 2 biology subjects in this sem, I just can't explain why I'm now doing something related to Bio which I hated the most in my school time.

Maybe things happened just like that. When you're left with options that none of your favorite, you choose the one makes you at least feel better. Somehow I enjoy my study life and feel comfortable with it now.

One thing I could never compromise is the place where I'm living now. The behavior of certain people really annoyed me. They just utilize the facilities provided and never make it a responsibility to take care of them, for example, the toilet and bathroom. And I was shocked when I saw a huge bunch of hair in basin. Why on earth the person cut her hair in toilet? argh. Also, the pipe is often blocked by the leftover food. And, you annoying people, stop shouting your friend from downstairs and knocking on the door 'Allasamualaikum' like you're visiting the deaf! I hope I can move next semester, I can't stand sharing washroom with people that never be appreciative and considerate anymore.

I didn't mean to write about this until I found that the basin in washing room was again blocked by Maggie mee!

I'm racist i know.

Study no study

2009-11-19T01:50:00.003+08:00

I'm so bored of studying statistics. Staring at the superb long and confusing formulas, it is so hard to stick them on my brain, the saturated one. So how? this is going to be my last paper, totally no mood to study anymore.

I pictured myself laying on my bed, the room of mine, it smells good. =) Baby Samsam will ask me for evening walk as usual. Together we'll sit on the doorstep, sometimes with Kiki, watch baba watering his plants.

At night. 'I think we should hang out.' 'Agreed.' We used to bring cards and spend the whole night playing chor dai dee, but recently we don't, they provide the cards now. lol. Vchin and I like to cheat, and be caught by Tian on purpose. why Tian is always our target to joke with?

I'm longing for this Saturday! Home!!!! Wheeeeee.......

eh it's almost 3 now. I still have a little part yet to read.so Back to book now.

No, I'm not sleepy.
but I wonder if Statistics bore him too.

Here I am, again. :)

2009-11-01T01:13:00.004+08:00

Am studying for final. yup, my first final exam in university. and, i hate exams.i love library indeed. the table is big enough for me to leave all my papers over it, err..like a mess. I don't like placing things accordingly, but still i can find it out whenever i want it. sometimes end up with baba's scolding when i run like crazy searching for some stuff at home though. :P

oh the air-conditioned library is so comfortable. The window, which through it u see workers arranging bricks or mixing sand and gravel and water or carrying woods that seem so not heavy for them. The pages flip, fingertips press on the keyboard or calculator,pen runs over the paper, I was totally in the mood of studying. sometimes the frantic whisperings on phones may be irritating for me. So i gave back a 'jek' sound, i dont care.
i never like maths. can someone tell me why shall i suffer from maths that don't look any related to my major? maths don't make me smart, im getting nerd like those taking math(or physics) as major. :P
we're not nerd!*pushing their inches-thicked glasses.*

anyhow, I've done 3 of my exams, which are>>organic chemistry, academic english, and malay language! *clap clap*

Chemical Process Calculation paper is coming on Monday, while Mathematics(shit) on Wednesday.
I am thinking if I should go back to Skc or go to my popo house in Nibong Tebal(so i can put my belongings there for the whole sem break) this weekend, since the last Statistics paper is on another Thursday. so how ah how ah?

Semester break coming soon!
happy final-exam-ing people.

Big 2

2009-09-10T02:07:00.002+08:00

Im finally and officially 20 now.
Teenage, no more. So long goodbye.

Did I mention that I love my course mates? Yes, I really do.
As planned, we had a birthday celebration over a very nice place (don't ask my where, I suck in direction and ordination).

What I can recall is, we took bus to Komtar, then swifted to another bus, then got down from the bus, walked a little, then *how surprise* we met Ainaa who was standing beside the road in front of the restaurant. (No la, she actually drove there earlier. See la, how nice to have own car, public transportation in Penang is terribly terrible. There was once my coursemates and I waited for almost 1.5 hours at the bus stop, imagine how pek chek it is.)

birthday babies: Amy, Ainna, me and Sebastian.The over-gan zheong Amy to fan off the candles. XDDespite the food they served wasn't nice, we still enjoyed and had so much fun on the night~
All sweeties in my class. Err, I started to talk and mingle around in class. Believe it or not, I found myself slow and passive in socializing. Well well, the real me is yet to be revealed. *giggle*
Lovely cowcow from them. *sweet*Me before turning 20. =p

Opss...having class in 30 mins, gtg to catch on the bus now.
More photos of birthday coming next. :)

Have a nice day guys.

Bitter bites

2009-08-05T20:15:00.003+08:00

I am not dying.

My emotion is greatly fluctuated. Hey all Yoke Kuan 5D1-ians and form sixers, could u guys hardly imagine WWX being emo and doesn't feel like talking anymore?
WWX is no longer telling lame jokes, crapping nonsense, making fun around.
It's just not so me.
Blue strikes me hard. Yes, I used to be happy-go-lucky, but no, not this time.

Thought of homing couldn't be any stronger, I miss everything back in Skc.
Baba, WWJ, uncle, aunt, baby Samsam, doggie Kiki, my room, my bed, everything.

I love my Uni.I actually trying hard to put aside my previous not-so-suka feeling about Penang and adapt myself into the society. I guess I did not bad. Gosh, one thing I'll never like is the dialect. Hearing people talking Hokkien or Teow Chew in shopping complexes make me feel as if Im at pasar beli sayur or Bagan beli ikan in Skc. I feel disgusting when the Macbook promoter spoke hokkien to me in Gurney. I know, maybe same thing happens when they hear people talking Cantonese in KL.

Uncle and Aunty here said I can take the advantage to polish my Teow Chew during the 4 year I'll be spending here. Seriously, I said NO immediately.
*WWJ, dont worry, my mandarin is still as original as before, no Hokkien accent! Ernnn~~~ what the...

I am totally exhausted after sleepless nights. Rushing for assignments, tutorial papers, presentations, etc makes me sick. My schedule is so hectic especially on Tue. So please, stop bordering me when I am bz, stop talking when I don't give any response, stop assuming that u know me well, just stop. don't make me feel worse.

Arghh.... 1 more week to go before going home. I wanna skip away from this place and leave all things behind asap.
It's raining outside but my body is heating up, probably coz of staying up late for nightss. My things haven't done, don't fall sick pls! I need a rest!

Going to bed now. Everything will be fine tomorrow, excluding the tortoise-speed USMhotspot.

Good night.>_<

Best view from USM

2009-07-09T12:08:00.004+08:00

when i was 1st time in USM, my uncle and aunt had brought me explore the whole campus, showed where i can get the best view, where to buy stuffs, etc... but then due to my reluctance to walk, i dont really like to go through every corner of my campus, hey, the weather here is so hot man.

yesterday, i attended my 1st English class. Guess what, i got only 6 classmates in class, and one of them is an international student from Thailand. Oh, there is another Thai girl in my Malay class too, and I doubted if she is 'real' girl...u know, she looks a bit different.

these photos were taken near my language school, SOLLAT(school of languages, literacies, and translation). and yes, that's where we can get the best view from usm.
Penang bridge. it has been a week since i came penang, thank god, life is getting better now. =)

hectic traffic on the bridge.

aeroplane, send me home pls. :p

night is coming.

Sue Ann and I. peace.

*H1N1 influenza in USM! Getting more students wearing mask here.Somehow the situation is not as serious as gossiped. im still healthy, energetic, and youthful! keke... for more info, click here.

USM

2009-07-04T16:04:00.014+08:00

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, i think i shall blog something about my university in order to inform my friends and family how my life went in the past week.

the view in my campus is really nice, trees and grass everywhere, making the whole environment so green and refreshing.

about my dorm, *sigh*...i alr didn't expect too much on how nice my room will be when i walk along the hallway. but still, the condition of the room was shocking and i couldn't imagine it'll be that horrible. the room is small, old, and dirty! the mattress is freaking disgusting, the table and rak are covered by a thick layer of dust. and still the whole thing looks bad after i did cleaning over and over again. i couldn't imagine how am i going to stay in this room for 1 year. *sob*

btw, my roommate from Kuantan, Sue Ann, is a super duple nice girl! she is cute, she is hot, and she is CRAZY! the common things between us are we are very lazy to wake early in the morning, and we both internet addict! wuahaha...

random pics>>>>>>>>>
#1. 3 campuses of USM. see bfang, yping and byong?lol.

#2. my new cool friends. Bowie, Jer win, me and Kboon. the girl behind is Sue Ann. The lakeside next to our dorm used to be our hang out point. B and J sing well.
#3. Cain James here.

#4 & 5.all my cool and crazy friends.April is in behind and Zoe/Peili is on myright. i have no idea with April's posing.=_=|||

#6. Sami and Jun. sorry i just simply spell their name.=p

#7. Sue Ann and I. Malam desasiswa.the blok behind is our dorm.

this week is my 1st study week. my 1st sem will be very very packed and busy. argghhhh.....
Baby sam sam called me last few days, phew,kinda miss home now.

Days with Liew(s)

2009-06-10T17:15:00.006+08:00

My cousin and her family from Johor were back in Skc for a short holiday .
I used to remember that her three children are still kids, yet they actually had grown up and the eldest one is a teenager now before I could realize that I myself is turning 20 too. *gosh.

It seems that the three guys had well-planned their schedule. Lots of thing they want to do when they're back.

We went for shopping at Tesco K.Sel the next day. Woman is aggressive when she shops, you could never imagine how it turns worse when comes to women. I was totally shocked when they spent over 1000dollars in that afternoon. My cousin daughter secretly told me:我妈咪很恐怖啊。

It was a pleasant evening when we reached the so-called Redang Beach. But the seaside is still as dirty as usual.

KangJing, observing the 'jumping fish' with funny posture.Jing(he's cute), Jin, my cousin's husband, KangSheng

Hui Ying, searching for beautiful seashells.

Our seashells, after being cleaned and dried. Huiying and I tried to polish them with nail polish.Haha, not bad, but I hope she wasn't serious when she said that she's going to sell them to her classmate for RM2 each.
Fishing is a must activity for them. They like fishing like any other guys in our family.

Another activity requested by them. They've asked to pay a visit to here long time ago.
The shed is located somewhere in Malay Village and owned by my cousin's cousin and my neighbour.
There are over hundred of goat, each costs up to a few thousand.

A baby goat that slip out from its shed. Some of the baby goats are newborned. There are two mother goats waiting to deliver their babies, unluckily we didn't manage to witness the process before we left.

They were back to Johor just now. Looking forward to see them again and I guess Huiying will be taller than me that time. *sob*

Hiatus

2009-04-24T17:05:00.006+08:00

A long pause.

I am being so lazy to type recently. Lazy to blog, lazy to chat. Ok, I'll actually pretend 'Away' if I don't feel like chatting with anyone.

Wondering what did I busy for?Yes, I teach this little girl drawing, accompanied by same simple Chinese characters. Nice huh???

Few days ago, Tat tat and I had a short conversation on MSN. I asked him how he decided on his future study. I know he is now having his most difficult moment, he has to take over heavier responsibility towards his family, but simultaneuously, I hope he can make a right choice for his own future as well.

As usual, he stopped when I try to persuade him.

I felt disappointed to myself. We used to hang out together, laugh together, but it comes so hard to utter or to be uttered the hardship we faced to others. It's not easy to get a friend you trust and feel comfortable to talk with anything. And I don't have one.

Friend,I'll always be there when you fall into the darkness....
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
to bright you up
.
.
.
.
.
.
like this.

Baby SamSam

2009-03-12T16:12:00.002+08:00

Here is Baby Sam Sam.

I let her play my piano. It was interesting for her as she never touch the thing before.

She was so curious when sounds came out. I showed her low pitch and told her that it is 'Old grandfather' voice, she was like: 'Wow'.

*Baby, don't pull the key out!*(see her left hand)

She was enjoy playing her unknown pieces. I have no idea if the 'melody' sounds good for her.

Anyway, does she look 'professional' in this pic?

o(n_n)o

Jay-cow

2009-03-11T14:39:00.005+08:00

Does the cow look like Jay Chou? Wuahaha.......

NO?

How about this?

*Sorry for all Jay's big fans!

Satisfied

2009-03-10T21:50:00.003+08:00

Yea, that's it. 3.00 for Math....argh, kinda disappointed of it. And the unexpected 4.00 from PA.

Overal, I am satisfied with it. At least I feel that the sacrifices and hardworks are paid. aiya,see my study 'heng', cannot expect too much de lah.

I am so happy to see my friends obtainning good grade. Really. You know they deserve it if you had seen how huge the effort they put.

And, friends who doesn't score well. Don't be upset. Get yourself out from the disappointment and regretness, plan the next step you can probably take. This will never be the end, for sure.

Lastly, a big THANK YOU to all my teachers and classmates who have helped me a lot in studies. Appreciate.

潘健成成長紀實影片

2009-02-25T14:21:00.003+08:00

This video was divided into 3 episodes. I chose the 2nd one as we can see Sekinchan paddy field here!! All Sekinchanese should be proud of him.

Awesome Red

2009-02-18T12:52:00.003+08:00

I am not a football lover(I watched those players rather than the game), yet in this post, I would like to yell for Man U!!!

I just checked out AirAsia's CEO,Tony Fernandes's blog, guess what, Manchester United have offered his company an opportunity to sponsor thier shirt. That's mean, we might see the logo 'AirAsia' printed on the red shirt!!

The sponsorship is still under consideration now. However, we as Malaysian should be proud of the company for successfully making itseft a global brand. This is not only a big step up for AirAsia, but Malaysians ourselves.

That's cool, right?

Tony Fernandes made AirAsia a miracle. 8 years ago, he purchased the heavily-indebted company for only 1 Ringgit. It's how astonishing that the company made a turnabout drastically within few years and now handling passenger of millions every year. Today, AirAsia has become the largest low-cost airline in Asia.

Let's make some noise for AirAsia.

Cute boy

2009-02-14T18:24:00.003+08:00

Is this real life?

Why this happening to me?

Will this be forever?

He was too devastated to loss a tooth,yea, a tooth.

决定智商，身高，情商的父母因素

2009-02-12T22:22:00.003+08:00

身高是母亲的遗传大。在营养状况下的前提下，父母的遗传是决定孩子身高的主要因素，其中妈妈的身高尤其关键。妈妈长得高，孩子也大多长得比较高。

　　智力是母亲的遗传大。智力有一定的遗传性，同时受到环境、营养、教育等后天因素的影响。据科学家评估，遗传对智力的影响约占50%-60%，就遗传而言，妈妈聪明，生下的孩子大多聪明，如果是个男孩子，就会更聪明。这其中的原因在于，人类与智力有关的基因主要集中在X染色体上。女性有2个X染色体，男性只有1个，所以妈妈的智力在遗传中就占有了更重要的位置。

　　性格是父亲的遗传大。性格的形成固然有先天的成分，但主要是后影响。比较而言，爸爸的影响力会大过妈妈。其中，父爱的作用对女儿的影响更大。一位心理学家认为：“父亲在女儿的自尊感，身份感以及温柔个性的形成过程中，扮演着重要的角色。”另有一位专家提出，父亲能传授给女儿生活上的许多重要的教训和经验，使女儿的性格更加丰富多彩。　　

相貌是父亲的遗传大。据美国心理学家克里斯坦菲德解释，可能由于父亲给予子女遗传上的特征，使婴儿的脸无论怎么看都更像父亲。这位科学家进一步解释说，这也是人类“自保”本能的一种体现，因为谁是母亲毫无疑问，而谁是父亲却没有这么肯定，所以必须像父亲，这样对婴儿有利，也可以鼓励父亲投入更多的爱。

上海万豪医院田主任介绍：实际上孩子是同时从父母那里继承各种身体要素的遗传因子。因此从妈妈或爸爸那里所获得的遗传因子的影响力是相同的，一般说来父母漂亮，孩子成年也漂亮，但也是不绝对的，这还要取决于青少年时期的身心智力发展。如果在学校里受到挫折，或在家中受到严重伤害，那么即使小时候很漂亮，大了也会变丑。相反，那些小时候难看，但受到家人社会良好照顾与教育，长大后也可变得“如花似玉”。(This is so interesting,so, be nice to your classmates)

　　决定智商的八对基因(还是八个？忘记了) 全部都是位于X染色体上面，在此先复习男女性是如何来的？
　　
　　男生是XY，X (卵)是来自母亲，Y(精子)是来自父亲。
　　
　　女生是XX，X (卵)是来自母亲，X (精子)是来自父亲。
　　
　　所以生男生女都是先生的错，不要怪罪妈妈的肚皮不争气!!!!
　　
　　请注意:
　　
　　男生是XY，所以男生的智商全部都是来自母亲的遗传，女生是XX，所以女生的智商是父亲跟母亲各有一半影响。
　　
　　因为女生的智商是父亲母亲都有影响，所以会有中和的效应。所以女生智商的分布会呈现自然分布(normal distribution)，就是倒钟状，中间最多，两边较少。
　　
　　然后男生因为是完全只受一方影响，所以男生智商分布会呈现在偏向在两个极端。也就是说，男生天才比较多，但是同时，蠢材之中也是男生特别多。
　　
　　这个故事告诉我们什么？
　　
　　1. 「你要判断一个男生聪不聪明，看他妈妈就知道了。」可是，你又要怎么判断一个男生的妈妈聪不聪明？........想不出简便的方法 .....
　　
　　2. 然后我们用机率来算：
　　
　　生男孩的机率= 1/2；生女孩的机率=1/2。
　　
　　生男孩的时候，母亲对于男孩智商的影响力 = 1
　　
　　生女孩的时候，母亲对于女孩智商的影响力 = 1/2
　　
　　所以说母亲跟父亲对于下一代智商的影响力(期望值)的比例是
　　
　　1*1/2 + 1/2*1/2 : 0*1/2 + 1/2*1/2
　　
　　= 0.75 ： 0.25
　　
　　= 3 ： 1
　　
　　= 母：父
　　
　　所以说，如果你：
　　
　　1. 是男生，如果你觉得你很笨的话。你千万要娶一个聪明的女生来。这样你小孩翻盘的机率还有七成五，人生还是充满了希望。
　　
　　2. 是女生，如果你觉得你很笨的话，因为，你翻人家盘的机率有七成五.....啊，我不能再说了.........总之，最近天气不错，出去走走。
　　
　　3. 当你看到一个男生很聪明的时候，则，他父亲很聪明的机率是 0% (应该说，就算他父亲很聪明，也对他是没有影响的)，可是他母亲很聪明的机率是100%。
　　
　　所以说，如果你在考虑要嫁给一个很聪明的男生的时候，你就要小心他妈妈，可能会是一个很会算计的婆婆。
　　
　　反之，当你看到一个男生很笨的时候，没错，他通常会很有钱，这是上帝的安排，上帝为了不让人类灭亡，所以他会让很笨的人很有钱，这样他才能娶到聪明的女生。

So near yet so FAR

2009-02-10T17:56:00.003+08:00

Well, I don't reliase that Google Earth even provide us with the detail path from one destination to another before.

See? From my grandma house to arrive at Sekinchan, haha. So now you know why I love Nibong Tebal so much. =_= (click to enlarge the pic)

Bye

2009-02-09T16:43:00.002+08:00

我的红包还没有动过。算钱都懒惰。因为已经agak到有多少了的。

跟往年一样，renew了护身符。祈求一年里平平安安，顺顺利利。

新年就这样过去了。

谁家还有柑吃不完，又要烂烂地了的，快点趁今天抛掉它！

发啊发啊。

ps:我班谁已经填了MOHE和USM的表格？交流一下你们选了什么科系，我很乱啊！

Sweet Nephews and Niece

2009-02-01T17:39:00.005+08:00

From the left, Me(ehem)，Sheng, Jin, Jing, Ying

The photo above is displayed in my uncle's house since many years ago, about 9 years I think.

Last day, someone came out with an idea which we take the same photo with the same pose again. It might be interesting, lol.

So my cousin took the pic for us and said that maybe we can make it again 10years later?

Very huge differences among the kids huh? Sheng is going to taller than me now, as well as Ying! I felt hurt~~

ps:Pls don't comment on my past look, I know u're going to do so! pls~~~

Balik Kampong

2009-01-29T01:53:00.006+08:00

Finally, I am back! At last, we decided to follow the so called 'tradition' of visiting our grandpa and grandma during CNY. Come on, just once a year, why not? However, we just stayed there for 1 day 1 night, or more precisely, 10++hours.

The one who came out to welcome us was not my grandma nor grandpa nor any uncles aunties, but the Indonesian maid. The first reaction when Jin and I saw her was: Wow, is she African? You know what I mean. *winks* Well, she is such a friendly and funny lady indeed, and she called me 'leng lui', wuahaha, it's always good to be honest.

My grandpa is so much skinnier compared to last time I saw him. His legs are weak so he need to use a walking apparatus to help him. I was shocked when I saw him, the figure of my popo flashed in my mind. Thanks God, my grandpa is alright now.

See my grandpa's old Benz and my grandma's old Saga??? hehe.Walking around the house after dinner. Yeah, we had curry fish cooked by Indian, yummy! And...I accidentally ate a yam in the soup, urgh, spoiled. I hate yam(in soup)!
Jin and I playing our own laptop in room while grandma came in and gave us big big angpau. She asked if we want to go pasar with her in the next morning. Before she left, she said 'Goodnight' to us, not 'Wan-an',ok?

Morning. I couldn't believe that I woke up at 7:30am. Being waken up by my grandma and went pasar with her. Is that coconut tree or palm tree outside? I don't know. Waiting for grandma...

That's it! My grandma rocks the road! I am confident with her driving skill though she is now in her seventies since we got into her car when we were small kids. But when she turned into an one-way, sweat....==||| Never mind la, go pasar only ma...
Back home after buying grandpa's breakfast, gonna out again for our breakfast.There's always someting new whenever we back here, for this year...*ten ten ten*...the three wooden statues! Another waiting...I was so sleepy yet hungry...
Here comes the breakfast, Bah Gut Teh! I remember this stall,grandpa brought cousinLZ, Jin and I here many times when we were kids. But grandpa had get rid of this 'unhealthy' food after having a bypass operation.
My favorite, laksa. Grandma homemade laksa tastes great! Penang laksa mou dak deng ah!
Before we left, grandpa gave us another angpau. 明年来要住两三天才可以回啊，知道吗？he said.

On the way home, I asked Jin, what's the maid name?
Dina?Dila?Nila?Nina?

I think I should write something about the maid next time, coz she is toooo funny, I am so entertained by her conversation with grandma. o(n_n)o

周杰伦&宋祖英-本草纲目

2009-01-27T02:35:00.002+08:00

‘春节晚会’in China. This show is so awesome! Great combination of pop and folk, in which my sis and baba will definately enjoy it!
ps: I was quite annoyed by the song辣妹子，when there was once a time my baba played it on CD and DVD frequently. But after I watched a performance of 宋祖英on TV, I was so impressed by her tone.

Huh, I just like this show very much~!^^

An email to the boss

2009-01-12T12:26:00.000+08:00

Dear Bo$$
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould
be under$tanding of the need$ of u$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport
including $weat and $ervice to your company.
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your$ $incerely,

Marian $hih

----------------------Feedback---------------------------------

Dear Marian

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed.
You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspaper are saying the world`s leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure
if the United States may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember
presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours truly,

Manager

请带拖鞋上街

2009-01-10T23:02:00.001+08:00

在blogger中到处看看，发现了这个。=]

好嘢！

换在马来西亚，应该写：全民行动，消灭猪只。

不要想太多，因为黑心长肉剂卷土重来。我没有搞民族主义，not insulting,ok?

愿真主保佑。

所谓的新年感言

2009-01-03T16:45:00.002+08:00

今天，2009年1月3日，距离元旦-48小时。outdate了啦这个post。
花开花落，我又老了一年。又美了一点。

08年小记

吃饱饱
睡好好
blogger
19。
读书拼拼
第一次CGPA考过3分，Lower 6年终考才1.92!成功的关键，在于你肯不肯bia
Snakiss
STPM
毕业，拿了2张同一件学校离校证书，榨到。

08年那么快就过去了，还好来得及眨了很多下眼。很多开心的，不开心的；很爽的，很不爽的；记得的，不记得的，一切就这样过去了。
那年，对我来说，还是开心的。得到的比失去多，反正失去的都不是自己想要的。

09年，又是新的开始啦！希望可以顺利上大学，念喜欢的科系。
一切是新的开始，期待新的环境，遇见新的人，开始新的生活。

2009，够够力！！！喂饱饱。

Tan Hong Ming

2008-12-23T23:00:00.007+08:00

Do u remember this advertisement? It's one of my favorite ad...

Sssshhhhh......Tan Hong Ming doesn't want the whole world to know his love.=]

汤圆

2008-12-21T19:17:00.006+08:00

又是冬至了。记得以前冬至时伯母会忙着准备吃的来拜拜。近年家里人越来越少了，所以也只是简单的过而已。昨晚就跟伯母说不如弄汤圆吧？她说不要啦，吃了就老一岁了。我：你不要自欺欺人啦，不吃也是照样会老。

汤圆一定是圆的？看我的！够力，吃了一定会考很多苹果！最后这个A的后果很惨，因为伯母搅得太用力，把它的脚弄断了~~T_T

我亲手弄的汤圆！有圆圆的，星星型的，88型的，还有里面包着黄糖的~~

因为家里人不多，我们也只是做了一点而已。
感性一点：没有了你们的分享，我的糖心汤圆甜得有点腻~~

找回误删并清除了回收站的文档

2008-12-20T18:52:00.001+08:00

找回误删并清除了回收站的文档
步骤：

1、单击"开始——运行，然后输入regedit （打开注册表）

2、依次展开：HEKEY——LOCAL——MACHIME/SOFTWARE/microsoft/WINDOWS/ CURRENTVERSION/EXPLORER/DESKTOP/nAMESPACE 在左边空白外点击"新建"
，选择："主键"，把它命名为"645FFO40——5081——101B——9F08——00AA002F954E"
再把右边的"默认"的主键的键值设为"回收站"，然后退出注册表。就OK啦。

3、要重启你的计算机。

只要你机器没有运行过磁盘整理。系统完好.任何时候的文件都可以找回来

*I found this on internet, not sure if it can really work, haven't try before. =p

七个受用一生的心理寓言

2008-12-14T18:59:00.001+08:00

（一）成长的寓言：做一棵永远成长的苹果树一棵苹果树，终于结果了。第一年，它结了10个苹果，9个被拿走，自己得到1个。对此，苹果树愤愤不平，于是自断经脉，拒绝成长。第二年，它结了5个苹果，4个被拿走，自己得到1个。“哈哈，去年我得到了10％，今年得到20％！翻了一番。”这棵苹果树心理平衡了。但是，它还可以这样：继续成长。譬如，第二年，它结了100个果子，被拿走90个，自己得到10个。很可能，它被拿走99个，自己得到1个。但没关系，它还可以继续成长，第三年结1000个果子…… 其实，得到多少果子不是最重要的。最重要的是，苹果树在成长！等苹果树长成参天大树的时候，那些曾阻碍它成长的力量都会微弱到可以忽略。真的，不要太在乎果子，成长是最重要的。
【心理点评】你是不是一个已自断经脉的打工族？刚开始工作的时候，你才华横溢，意气风发，相信“天生我才必有用”。但现实很快敲了你几个闷棍，或许，你为单位做了大贡献没人重视；或许，只得到口头重视但却得不到实惠；或许……总之，你觉得就像那棵苹果树，结出的果子自己只享受到了很小一部分，与你的期望相差甚远。于是，你愤怒、你懊恼、你牢骚满腹……最终，你决定不再那么努力，让自己的所做去匹配自己的所得。几年过去后，你一反省，发现现在的你，已经没有刚工作时的激情和才华了。 “老了，成熟了。”我们习惯这样自嘲。但实质是，你已停止成长了。这样的故事，在我们身边比比皆是。之所以犯这种错误，是因为我们忘记生命是一个历程，是一个整体，我们觉得自己已经成长过了，现在是到该结果子的时候了。我们太过于在乎一时的得失，而忘记了成长才是最重要的。好在，这不是金庸小说里的自断经脉。我们随时可以放弃这样做，继续走向成长之路。切记：如果你是一个打工族，遇到了不懂管理、野蛮管理或错误管理的上司或企业文化，那么，提醒自己一下，千万不要因为激愤和满腹牢骚而自断经脉。不论遇到什么事情，都要做一棵永远成长的苹果树，因为你的成长永远比每个月拿多少钱重要。

（二）动机的寓言：孩子在为谁而玩一群孩子在一位老人家门前嬉闹，叫声连天。几天过去，老人难以忍受。于是，他出来给了每个孩子25美分，对他们说：“你们让这儿变得很热闹，我觉得自己年轻了不少，这点钱表示谢意。” 孩子们很高兴，第二天仍然来了，一如既往地嬉闹。老人再出来，给了每个孩子15美分。他解释说，自己没有收入，只能少给一些。15美分也还可以吧，孩子仍然兴高采烈地走了。第三天，老人只给了每个孩子5美分。孩子们勃然大怒，“一天才5美分，知不知道我们多辛苦！”他们向老人发誓，他们再也不会为他玩了！
【心理点评】你在为谁而“玩” 这个寓言是苹果树寓言的更深一层的答案：苹果树为什么会自断经脉，因为它不是为自己而“玩”。人的动机分两种：内部动机和外部动机。如果按照内部动机去行动，我们就是自己的主人。如果驱使我们的是外部动机，我们就会被外部因素所左右，成为它的奴隶。在这个寓言中，老人的算计很简单，他将孩子们的内部动机“为自己快乐而玩”变成了外部动机“为得到美分而玩”，而他操纵着美分这个外部因素，所以也操纵了孩子们的行为。寓言中的老人，像不像是你的老板、上司？而美分，像不像是你的工资、奖金等各种各样的外部奖励？如将外部评价当作参考坐标，我们的情绪就很容易出现波动。因为，外部因素我们控制不了，它很容易偏离我们的内部期望，让我们不满，让我们牢骚满腹。不满和牢骚等负性情绪让我们痛苦，为了减少痛苦，我们就只好降低内部期望，最常见的方法就是减少工作的努力程度。一个人之所以会形成外部评价体系，最主要的原因是父母喜欢控制他。父母太喜欢使用口头奖惩、物质奖惩等控制孩子，而不去理会孩子自己的动机。久而久之，孩子就忘记了自己的原初动机，做什么都很在乎外部的评价。上学时，他忘记了学习的原初动机———好奇心和学习的快乐；工作后，他又忘记了工作的原初动机———成长的快乐，上司的评价和收入的起伏成了他工作的最大快乐和痛苦的源头。切记：外部评价系统经常是一种家族遗传，但你完全可以打破它，从现在开始培育自己的内部评价体系，让学习和工作变成“为自己而玩”。

（三）规划的寓言：把一张纸折叠51次想象一下，你手里有一张足够大的白纸。现在，你的任务是，把它折叠51次。那么，它有多高？一个冰箱？一层楼？或者一栋摩天大厦那么高？不是，差太多了，这个厚度超过了地球和太阳之间的距离。
【心理点评】到现在，我拿这个寓言问过十几个人了，只有两个人说，这可能是一个想象不到的高度，而其他人想到的最高的高度也就是一栋摩天大厦那么高。折叠51次的高度如此恐怖，但如果仅仅是将51张白纸叠在一起呢？这个对比让不少人感到震撼。因为没有方向、缺乏规划的人生，就像是将51张白纸简单叠在一起。今天做做这个，明天做做那个，每次努力之间并没有一个联系。这样一来，哪怕每个工作都做得非常出色，它们对你的整个人生来说也不过是简单的叠加而已。当然，人生比这个寓言更复杂一些。有些人，一生认定一个简单的方向而坚定地做下去，他们的人生最后达到了别人不可企及的高度。譬如，我一个朋友的人生方向是英语，他花了十数年努力，仅单词的记忆量就达到了十几万之多，在这一点上达到了一般人无法企及的高度。也有些人，他们的人生方向也很明确，譬如开公司做老板，这样，他们就需要很多技能———专业技能、管理技能、沟通技能、决策技能等等。他们可能会在一开始尝试做做这个，又尝试做做那个，没有一样是特别精通的，但最后，开公司做老板的这个方向将以前的这些看似零散的努力统合到一起，这也是一种复杂的人生折叠，而不是简单的叠加。切记：看得见的力量比看不见的力量更有用。现在，流行从看不见的地方寻找答案，譬如潜能开发，譬如成功学，以为我们的人生要靠一些奇迹才能得救。但是，在我看来，东莞恒缘心理咨询中心的咨询师毛正强说得更正确，“通过规划利用好现有的能力远比挖掘所谓的潜能更重要。”

（四）逃避的寓言：小猫逃开影子的招数 “影子真讨厌！”小猫汤姆和托比都这样想，“我们一定要摆脱它。” 然而，无论走到哪里，汤姆和托比发现，只要一出现阳光，它们就会看到令它们抓狂的自己的影子。不过，汤姆和托比最后终于都找到了各自的解决办法。汤姆的方法是，永远闭着眼睛。托比的办法则是，永远待在其他东西的阴影里。
【心理点评】这个寓言说明，一个小的心理问题是如何变成更大的心理问题的。可以说，一切心理问题都源自对事实的扭曲。什么事实呢？主要就是那些令我们痛苦的负性事件。因为痛苦的体验，我们不愿意去面对这个负性事件。但是，一旦发生过，这样的负性事件就注定要伴随我们一生，我们能做的，最多不过是将它们压抑到潜意识中去，这就是所谓的忘记。但是，它们在潜意识中仍然会一如既往地发挥作用。并且，哪怕我们对事实遗忘得再厉害，这些事实所伴随的痛苦仍然会袭击我们，让我们莫名其妙地伤心难过，而且无法抑制。这种疼痛让我们进一步努力去逃避。发展到最后，通常的解决办法就是这两个：要么，我们像小猫汤姆一样，彻底扭曲自己的体验，对生命中所有重要的负性事实都视而不见；要么，我们像小猫托比一样，干脆投靠痛苦，把自己的所有事情都搞得非常糟糕，既然一切都那么糟糕，那个让自己最伤心的原初事件就不是那么疼了。白云心理医院的咨询师李凌说，99％的吸毒者有过痛苦的遭遇。他们之所以吸毒，是为了让自己逃避这些痛苦。这就像是躲进阴影里，痛苦的事实是一个魔鬼，为了躲避这个魔鬼，干脆把自己卖给更大的魔鬼。还有很多酗酒的成人，他们有过一个酗酒而暴虐的老爸，挨过老爸的不少折磨。为了忘记这个痛苦，他们学会了同样的方法。除了这些看得见的错误方法外，我们人类还发明了无数种形形色色的方法去逃避痛苦，弗洛伊德将这些方式称为心理防御机制。太痛苦的时候，这些防御机制是必要的，但糟糕的是，如果心理防御机制对事实扭曲得太厉害，它会带出更多的心理问题，譬如强迫症、社交焦虑症、多重人格，甚至精神分裂症等。真正抵达健康的方法只有一个———直面痛苦。直面痛苦的人会从痛苦中得到许多意想不到的收获，它们最终会变成当事人的生命财富。切记：阴影和光明一样，都是人生的财富。一个最重要的心理规律是，无论多么痛苦的事情，你都是逃不掉的。你只能去勇敢地面对它，化解它，超越它，最后和它达成和解。如果你自己暂时缺乏力量，你可以寻找帮助，寻找亲友的帮助，或寻找专业的帮助，让你信任的人陪着你一起去面对这些痛苦的事情。美国心理学家罗杰斯曾是最孤独的人，但当他面对这个事实并化解后，他成了真正的人际关系大师；美国心理学家弗兰克有一个暴虐而酗酒的继父和一个糟糕的母亲，但当他挑战这个事实并最终从心中原谅了父母后，他成了治疗这方面问题的专家；日本心理学家森田正马曾是严重的神经症患者，但他通过挑战这个事实并最终发明出了森田疗法……他们生命中最痛苦的事实最后都变成了他们最重要的财富。你，一样也可以做到。

（五）行动的寓言———螃蟹、猫头鹰和蝙蝠螃蟹、猫头鹰和蝙蝠去上恶习补习班。数年过后，它们都顺利毕业并获得博士学位。不过，螃蟹仍横行，猫头鹰仍白天睡觉晚上活动，蝙蝠仍倒悬。
【心理点评】这是黄永玉大师的一个寓言故事，它的寓意很简单：行动比知识重要。用到心理健康中，这个寓言也发人深省。心理学的知识堪称博大精深。但是，再多再好的心理学知识也不能自动帮助一个人变得更健康。其实，我知道的一些学过多年心理学的人士，他们学心理学的目的之一就是要治自己，但学了这么多年以后，他们的问题依旧。之所以出现这种情况，一个很重要的原因是，他们没有身体力行，那样知识就只是遥远的知识，知识并没有化成他们自己的生命体验。我的一个喜欢心理学的朋友，曾被多名心理学人士认为不敏感，不适合学心理学。但事实证明，这种揣测并不正确。他是不够敏感，但他有一个非常大的优点：知道一个好知识，就立即在自己的生命中去执行。这样一来，那些遥远的知识就变成了真切的生命体验，他不必“懂”太多，就可以帮助自己，并帮助很多人。如果说，高敏感度是一种天才素质，那么高行动力是更重要的天才素质。这个寓言还可以引申出另一种含义：不要太指望神秘的心理治疗的魔力。最重要的力量永远在你自己的身上，奥秘的知识、玄妙的潜能开发、炫目的成功学等等，都远不如你自己身上已有的力量重要。我们习惯去外面寻找答案，去别人那里寻找力量，结果忘记了力量就在自己身上。切记：别人的知识不能自动地拯救你。如果一些连珠的妙语打动了你，如果一些文字或新信条启发了你。那么，这些别人的文字和经验都只是一个开始，更重要的是，你把你以为好的知识真正运用到你自己的生命中去。犹太哲学家马丁·布伯的这句话，我一直认为是最重要的：你必须自己开始。假如你自己不以积极的爱去深入生存，假如你不以自己的方式去为自己揭示生存的意义，那么对你来说，生存就将依然是没有意义的。

（六）放弃的寓言：蜜蜂与鲜花玫瑰花枯萎了，蜜蜂仍拼命吮吸，因为它以前从这朵花上吮吸过甜蜜。但是，现在在这朵花上，蜜蜂吮吸的是毒汁。蜜蜂知道这一点，因为毒汁苦涩，与以前的味道是天壤之别。于是，蜜蜂愤不过，它吸一口就抬起头来向整个世界抱怨，为什么味道变了？！终于有一天，不知道是什么原因，蜜蜂振动翅膀，飞高了一点。这时，它发现，枯萎的玫瑰花周围，处处是鲜花。
【心理点评】这是关于爱情的寓言，是一位年轻的语文老师的真实感悟。有一段时间，她失恋了，很痛苦，一直想约我聊聊，希望我的心理学知识能给她一些帮助。我们一直约时间，但快两个月过去了，两人的时间总不能碰巧凑在一起。最后一次约她，她说：“谢谢！不用了，我想明白了。” 原来，她刚从九寨沟回来。失恋的痛苦仍在纠缠她，让她神情恍惚，不能享受九寨沟的美丽。不经意的时候，她留意到一只小蜜蜂正在一朵鲜花上采蜜。那一刹那间，她脑子里电闪雷鸣般地出现了一句话：“枯萎的鲜花上，蜜蜂只能吮吸到毒汁。” 当然，大自然中的小蜜蜂不会这么做，只有人类才这么傻，她这句话里的蜜蜂当然指她自己。这一刹那，她顿悟出了放弃的道理。以前，她想让我帮她走出来，但翅膀其实就长在她自己身上，她想飞就能飞。放弃并不容易，爱情中的放弃尤其令人痛苦。因为，爱情是对我们幼小时候的亲子关系的复制。幼小的孩子，无论从哪个方面看，都离不开爸爸妈妈。如果爸爸妈妈完全否定他，那对他来说就意味着死亡，这是终极的伤害和恐惧。我们多多少少都曾体验过被爸爸妈妈否定的痛苦和恐惧，所以，当爱情———这个亲子关系的复制品再一次让我们体验这种痛苦和恐惧时，我们的情绪很容易变得非常糟糕。不过，爱情和亲子关系相比，有一个巨大的差别：小时候，我们无能为力，一切都是父母说了算；但现在，我们长大了，我们有力量自己去选择自己的命运。可以说，童年时，我们是没有翅膀的小蜜蜂，但现在，我们有了一双强有力的翅膀了。但是，当深深地陷入爱情时，我们会回归童年，我们会忘记自己有一双可以飞翔的翅膀。等我们自己悟出这一点后，爱情就不再会是对亲子关系的自动复制，我们的爱情就获得了自由，就有了放弃的力量。切记：爱情是两个人的事情，两个完全平等的、有独立人格的人的事情。你可以努力，但不是说，你努力了就一定会有效果，因为另一个人，你并不能左右。所以，无论你多么在乎一次爱情，如果另一个人坚决要离开你，请尊重他的选择。并且，还要记得，你不再是童年，只能听凭痛苦的折磨。你已成人，你有一双强有力的翅膀，你完全可以飞出一个已经变成毒药的关系。

（七）亲密的寓言：独一无二的玫瑰小王子有一个小小的星球，星球上忽然绽放了一朵娇艳的玫瑰花。以前，这个星球上只有一些无名的小花，小王子从来没有见过这么美丽的花，他爱上这朵玫瑰，细心地呵护她。那一段日子，他以为，这是一朵人世间唯一的花，只有他的星球上才有，其他的地方都不存在。然而，等他来到地球上，发现仅仅一个花园里就有5000朵完全一样的这种花朵。这时，他才知道，他有的只是一朵普通的花。一开始，这个发现，让小王子非常伤心。但最后，小王子明白，尽管世界上有无数朵玫瑰花，但他的星球上那朵，仍然是独一无二的，因为那朵玫瑰花，他浇灌过，给她罩过花罩，用屏风保护过，除过她身上的毛虫，还倾听过她的怨艾和自诩，聆听过她的沉默……一句话，他驯服了她，她也驯服了他，她是他独一无二的玫瑰。 “正因为你为你的玫瑰花费了时间，这才使你的玫瑰变得如此重要。”一只被小王子驯服的狐狸对他说。
【心理点评】这是法国名著《小王子》中一个有名的寓言故事，我曾读过十数遍，但仍然是直到2005年才明白这一点。面对着5000朵玫瑰花，小王子说：“你们很美，但你们是空虚的，没有人能为你们去死。” 只有倾注了爱，亲密关系才有意义。但是，现在我们越来越流行空虚的“亲密关系”，最典型的就是因网络而泛滥的一夜情。我们急着去拥有。仿佛是，每多拥有过一朵玫瑰，自己的生命价值就多了一分。网络时代，拥有过数十名情人，已不再是太罕见的事情。但我所了解的这些滥情者，没有一个是不空虚的。他们并不享受关系，他们只享受征服。 “征服欲望越强的人，对于关系的亲密度越没有兴趣。”广州白云心理医院的咨询师荣玮龄说，“没有拥有前，他们会想尽一切办法拉近关系的距离。但一旦拥有后，他们会迅速丧失对这个亲密关系的兴趣。征服欲望越强，丧失的速度越快。” 对于这样的人，一个玫瑰园比起一朵独一无二的玫瑰花来，更有吸引力。然而，关系的美，正在乎两人的投入程度和被驯服程度。当两个人都自然而然地去投入，自然而然地被驯服后，关系就会变成人生养料，让一个人的生命变得更充盈、更美好。但是，无论多么亲密。小王子仍是小王子，玫瑰仍是玫瑰，他们仍然是两个个体。如果玫瑰不让小王子旅行，或者小王子旅行时非将玫瑰花带在身上，两者一定要黏在一起，关系就不再是享受，而会变成一个累赘。切记：一个既亲密而又相互独立的关系，胜于一千个一般的关系。这样的关系，会把我们从不可救药的孤独感中拯救出来，是我们生命中最重要的一种救赎。如果不曾体验过，你就无法知道这种关系的美。

花開的季節

2008-11-28T14:36:00.005+08:00

我们就这样擦肩而过了吧，阳光洒在脸上，我感觉到了你给的回忆，感觉到了久违的温暖，只是，渐渐的，渐渐的，你的气息已飘远。
多年以后，他乡偶遇，彼此都已不是当年，你我都知如此的变化本是难免，只是遗憾这段时光没有一起度过，希望另一个时空的你我幸运如意。

看见的，看不见了。夏风轻轻吹过，在瞬间消失无踪，记住的，遗忘了。
只留下一地微微晃动的迷离树影......
也许某个深邃的夜晚会忆起那些过往，星星点点的散落在身旁，牵动回忆的时候莞尔一笑，淡忘并不代表会忘记，愿你幸福依旧。

等待，
下个花开的季节。

我的两个‘婆‘

2008-11-25T16:24:00.005+08:00

又是一个人在家了。一个人上网，做练习，看电视，其实很蛮习惯这种不受打扰的生活的。那天问伯母，婆生前的X光片呢。她说早丢了。可惜呀，我想收藏起来的。婆离去的前一晚在医院我就是抱着那份厚厚的X光片陪在她身边的。突然想念婆还在的日子，她总是喜欢在我写作业时在一旁看电视，一边碎碎念。我会很不耐烦地要她不要吵，而她就笑嘻嘻地说我厉害了。记得她问过我，那些英文马来文，比较好写还是中文好写？我说abc。
我不知道婆是几岁来马来西亚的，只记得她只回过中国一次。事隔多年，她还会沉醉在那次的旅程，一直跟我说那儿有多好。我问她，你是哪里人，她说她是中国人。后来又说是马来亚人。真是复杂的女人。

这是外婆。外婆比较年轻，今年好像才69吧。外婆会自己染发，会化妆（虽然每次我看到会笑到不行），会自己开车，小时候会给我们做睡衣和枕头。比起婆的强悍，外婆比较柔弱。我曾经不止一次看过外婆流泪，其中一次是外公装心脏起搏器动手术时，其他就是扫墓时。伯母说，做父母的失去了孩子会伤心一辈子，而孩子失去了父母，虽然会伤心，但那程度是远远比不上的。我明白。

下个月是婆离开的3周年，我也好久没有梦过她了。她还好么？
外婆呢，虽然年纪渐渐大了，依然很健康。希望她可以长命百岁，看着我这个大外孙女结婚吧，似乎还要很久哦，呵呵。

放空

2008-11-17T12:09:00.006+08:00

明天就要考试了。
这几天感觉自己做了很多事情，但其实都是一些没有意义的东西，对考试无益。

现在很心情很平静，没有一丝紧张。
外面天气很好，失常地好。

问自己，准备好了吗？

该说，是F for Full 还是 E for Empty?
哎呀，到了这个时候，就算你是E，也该告诉自己___E for Enough!

不要想太多了，我要继续放空。
安慰自己，E也可以撑到加油站。恩，可以的。

无语了，才刚打完，外面就下大雨！

珍重

2008-11-07T16:35:00.002+08:00

夜凉如水置身于无边无形的夜色中，黑暗寂，将所有的喧嚣尘埃滤净涤清只余下静空。很多东西经不住时间的摧残和变化，每个人心底的疼痛只属于他自己，即使是一个人的黑夜感到寒冷，还是应该好好地生活。

心里，总是会空空的，失落的恍惚间，年华，就真如指缝间的流沙，缓缓滑落，徐徐飘散，且不着痕迹。偏偏又能够在某一些时候，被晚风轻轻抚掠过，吹回心，越过淡淡的回忆和浅浅的遗憾，勾起似曾相识的感觉。即便几经波折，如履薄冰有伤有痛，但都在回眸之间，微笑或者哭泣？

淡淡的淡淡的，一个人的寂寞。

我忽然微笑。笑得泪流满面。眼泪流多了，就把心流出一个洞。自己低下头去，可以看到一片树叶在身后飘落。

天空很远，很远。从我的左眼到我的右眼。

冷风中我喜欢一个人站立，穿梭，颤抖。让风一阵阵拂过我脸庞，划过我皮肤，微微疼痛。一直都有梦，一直都没有醒。有时那个梦太远太远,于是选择了把它捏碎。有时那个梦因为太近太近，于是选择了把它丢弃。人，总是有些复杂，弄不清自己想要的，搞不懂自己掌握的。

花开到最后总是凋零，即使她是整个花季里的最美，当节气点燃了所有的颜色，烧到最后也得化为灰烬。我清楚的知道那是宿命。无数次，我在梦中被人亲吻，我都会惊叫起来。醒来后，我麻木地感应着自己冰冷的双手死命地抓着衣服。我一直在包容着别人却无法包容我自己，无法包容我的懦弱我的敏感我的孤独我的漠然我的知觉麻痹。

看到周围的人都在不停的赶路，我很害怕，我不想就此倒下，撑着自己疲惫的身躯，我还在继续我的旅程，不知不觉，我周围的人已经大部分都不见了。我有点恐惧，有点迷惑有点不知所措，不知道自己是走快了还是走慢了，也不知道自己是走对了还是走错了，走着一条自己都找不到方向的路，看不到前面的阳光，望不到远方的绿林，我只是茫然的走着，走着，走过的路上，脚印一深一浅的印着我的背影，也许，成长是要付出代价的。

走在午夜孤寂的长街，想念有风有月的浪漫，和本不堪回首的从前，是多么放肆和飞扬的青春，却苍白得失去了嬉笑的勇气。风起了，在依稀月影间，疏离的是无缘的缘，无爱的爱。并不曾回想当年的承诺，事过境迁，在细碎而匆忙的时光里，谁都不能，细细安抚失落的从前。风起风停，吹走了时光，吹散了一切。

一些旧事，在我们心中，渐是刻下一道道印痕来，或浅或深．．．．．．

有些认定不会遗失的往事总被记忆抛弃，不刻意的一个瞬间却深埋不烂。回忆与否不能由心作主，得到的总不是想要的，付出的总不是珍贵的，拥有的总是不经意的，相爱的总不是最亲的。

眯起眼，我想沉下去，沉入生活，沉入迷恋，沉入一种习惯。

我觉得我想哭泣。

31st Oct 2008

2008-10-31T16:52:00.002+08:00

Wow, still have 18 more days to go for our STPM!

It feels great to see our classmates are all working hard together, 'cause we have only one aim___

UNIVERSITY!!!!

So please don't bother me with any unimportant matter (and everything except my books carries no meaning for me now!) . I am doing good and ready to achieve the highest CGPA point.

Everything is on the mark.

I am ready for it.

When You Look Me in the Eyes

2008-10-30T17:37:00.001+08:00

when you look me in the eyes
and tell me that you love me
everything is all right
when you're right here by my side
when you look me in the eyes
i catch a glimpse of heaven
i find my paradise
when you look me in the eyes

对不起·我爱你

2008-10-28T19:08:00.001+08:00

我觉得女主角很美，样子也很可爱。虽然他们说___是整出来的！sien!

DEB

2008-10-25T14:31:00.002+08:00

Here is the headline of today's Chinese newspaper.

Dasar Ekonomi Baru(DEB) was introduced in Rangka Rancangan Jangka Pangka Panjang Pertama(RRJP1, 1971-1990) ,which included: RMK-2,RMK-3,RMK-4 and RMK-5.

Rational:
1. high poverty in the country
2. huge income gap among the citizen in urban and rural area
3. differentiation of other races through economy activities
4. Tragedy 13th May 1969

Main objective:
1. eradicate poverty
-poverty is the main concern of the Bumiputera
2. community rearrangement
-by the year 1990, composition of Malaysian society will be displayed in economy structure (30% Bumiputera, 40% nonBumiputera, 30% foreign investment)
3. encourage the involvement of the citizen, especially the Bumi, in corporation.

Seriously, I have no comment on this issue, what makes me serious is that I have to read through all these notes for my General Paper1! *Sigh*Please correct me for any mistake found.

STPM coming soon, any tips to memorise all these 'Dasar-dasar', 'Makhamah-makhamah' etc. effectively?

Aiyoyo.....

老post

2008-10-19T16:40:00.005+08:00

这是一封很outdate的post___
话说___今天
我打开抽屉时发现这个————————青包！开斋节已经过了那么久，它们就这样被我遗忘在抽屉里了。而且里面的钱还在```！！

第1个是去Puan Hapijah家拜年时老师给的。
第2个是在班上英语课时玩游戏赢回来的小礼物。那个填字游戏，一开始我很自以为是地try and error，后来才发现原来纸上有提示的！最后怎么会填完呢？这是一个很complicated的问题。
第3个是Encik Farid&Puan Norsiah给的。老师煮的curry和rendang真的很好吃，其他人在客厅讨论东西时，我，sapphire,vnnie在坐在角落一直‘品尝’糕点。
总之我们当天说的话大概之有：“诶，这个好吃”，“这个很特别”，“不错叻”，“这个是什么什么做的”

random pics:

在老师家。好像看不到Puan Hapijah厚。

On the way

Wuahaha~~~!!??

Isolated_unknown_species.

屠妖节快到了，为什么我们没有印度老师？=_=|||

闭关

2008-10-18T15:29:00.003+08:00

正式离考试还有一个月而已了。

每天忙上课忙补习，晚上一边看电视一边复习（对我来说，读书的时候一边看电视会比较有效，哈）。其实这样规律的生活虽然很累，但我觉得很充实。原来一个人只要有了目标，可以那么奋不顾身地去达成。我喜欢这样。

已经很久没有写blog,也没有心情写。从今天开始就要‘戒网’了，要暂时跟choco box 说byebye啦！还有厚，blog其实也是看个人心情去经营的啦，为什么要那么无聊去比较谁写得比较多，update得比较快？

=_=|||

好了好了，继续闭关。。。

12月3日后，我就自由了！

Yeah! 韦文璇，加油！
dear friends, 你们也要加油哦。我们一定可以的啦，谁叫我们是有气质的美女？sapp,你说是不是？哇哈哈````！！！
还有一直睡觉那个，我不会扰你美梦，因爲现在的我六根清静，所以我睇晤到睇晤到~~！！阿彌陀佛。善哉善哉。。@@

狗bi

2008-09-22T16:31:00.004+08:00

每次经过它身边，它一定会像发疯似地往我身上跳。老实说，我当时有一点点讨厌它。跟伯母说，为什么这只狗好像发神经一样的？叫他‘神神地’好啦。

开始时，狗狗被系在屋后的树下。有一天下雨了，惨了，狗在外面！可是。。我很怕狗，不敢帮他松绑。于是妹妹便撑了雨伞，走了出去。哼，你以为她去救它？错！她去向爸爸求救了。最后，也不知道是谁把狗带到了屋檐下。妹妹说，当时那只笨狗还有气无力地趴着，积水快淹到鼻子了。

于是我便跟伯母说不要把狗养在那里，下雨很麻烦。哪里知道~~那个auntie竟然跟我说~~~不用紧的啦，狗是喜欢淋雨的嘛！walao...

傍晚骑脚车时我会特地‘引诱‘狗比跟我一起，让它跟着我再乘它不注意时（例如去撒尿时）把它甩了，可是它会走捷径很快地追上来；知道它又跟在我后面时躲在墙后吓它，虽然很多时候它会很无奈地看着我。那天bbq时我们赏了它很多骨头，它呼朋唤友引了很多buddy来，叫它们乖乖看它吃。

感觉狗比在我们才呆了一下子，却被我们取了很多很没有文化的名--神神地，痴孖根，馬英狗。。。

现在走在外面已经不会有只东西在后面喘着气跟着，叫狗比时不会看到那个黑白身影向自己冲来，当它靠得太近时下意识地避开一点...

真的，不习惯。

Grrrrr........

2008-09-17T18:55:00.002+08:00

Still dealing with my trial exam now.It'll be Biology Paper 2 tomorrow. I know, I shouldn't be online now, but, please forgive me. I am just too tired and wanna gasp for a breathe of refreshing...

Yes, it is. So hungry now.... T_T

Fortune Teller?

2008-09-12T15:07:00.002+08:00

See...it's what we do in school....
Playing Tarot card in class and enjoy predicting our unknown yet hopeful future.
*sigh, you know what, I was quite frustrated by the saying that I will be become facing health problem, high cholesterol, obese etc. poo...upset.

Anyway, it's fun.